"Love isn't What You Think."
If you tell me you love me, I think I know what you mean. You mean you like me. You have affection for me, you are fond of me. There is something about me that is meaningful to you—in some way, you enjoy me being a part of your life.
I would mean the same thing if I said I loved you.
And as nice as it feels when someone says they love you…
That’s also what they mean when they say they love chocolate. Or their favorite song, or TV show, or sportsball team or their favorite restaurants.
But it’s not what God means when He talks about love. When He says to love one another, it has nothing to do with liking each other.
Romans 5:8
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I think we all kind of know this but I want to dig deeper today. Last week we talked about how faith has to lead to faithfulness or that faith is dead—our faith will die. Jesus calls us, saves us, and it’s a pure gift of grace—not by works. But then we’re supposed to follow Him, do the things He saved us and called us to do. Live according to His commands, His wisdom…
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, He said “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” Basically, the first of the ten commandments. “You shall worship God alone.” But then He went on to say, the second is just like it—love your neighbor as yourself. So, worship God, Love people.
Before He was crucified, He said, “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Sacrificial love. Greater love has no one than he who lays down his life for another. Jesus says something like it four times in that same speech.
Then the rest of the New Testament repeats this command over a dozen times…
So, I think we should probably try to really understand what He means by this. Because loving one another is the whole point of the Law. It’s the center of God’s wisdom. It’s the entire meaning and purpose of life.
Romans 13:10
“Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”
God has called you out of the world for a purpose. He has given you a calling. A Vocātiō in Latin. A vocation. You actually have several vocations. But they are all for the same purpose…
They are how God wants to love and serve the people in your life. He will love and serve people through you, through your various vocations. Your callings.
He not only calls you out of the world and assigns you various ways to love and serve people…
He also puts His Spirit in you and gives you what you need to accomplish what He’s called you to do.
Galatians 5:22–23
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
We’ve all heard of the Fruit of the Spirit. There are nine in this short list. I’m going to help you memorize them today. I have a goofy way of remembering using my fingers—maybe it’ll help you, too.
Do this with me…
Love. Thumb up on your left hand. Notice how it kind of makes an “L?” Love! Love is like the basket that holds all the other fruit. I always remember that it comes first.
Joy. With your thumb out and your first finger, see how it makes a “J?” There you go… Joy.
Then peace. Little peace sign. Isn’t that nice.
The next one is tricky. Patience. I remember that it’s patience because it’s the finger after the middle finger, and since I used the middle finger to make peace… instead of what the middle finger is sometimes used for… I consider that to be patience.
I told you they were goofy. But you’ll probably remember!
Kindness. Five of a kind! All five fingers, an open hand, good for rubbing someone’s shoulders or shaking their hand. Kindness.
Now the other hand… Good! (Thumb up) Goodness. It just feels like goodness to me.
(First finger pointing up) Faithfulness. Our faith is in God and we point to him with faithfulness.
If you think any of these has been a stretch, wait till you get a load of this next one…
(Two finger gun) What’s this? (gun) What’s it start with? (G) “G” is for gentleness—because we’re not going to use that gun. Gentleness. Gentleness is not the same as harmless.
And the last one is how we actually use all the other ones. It’s how we put them to use and truly love people. It takes a lot of self-control to hold up all the fingers except the pinky—at least it does for me. Hurts a little. Self-control.
There. Now you should be able to remember the nine fruit of the Spirit.
Fruit Is Not for the Tree
Here’s the thing about fruit—it’s not for us.
Fruit trees don’t eat their own fruit.
If they did, that’d be weird..
Fruit is not for the tree.
Fruit is for others. That’s how God designed the world.
It’s also how seeds are spread and new trees are reproduced. It’s the same with spiritual fruit.
Sacrificial love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. This is how we’re supposed to share our faith, bear witness, plant seeds… Worship God and love people.
The fruit isn’t for you. It’s for the people God puts in your life.
The Fruit of the Spirit is not about becoming a better version of you.
It is not a personality upgrade.
It is not a spiritual self-care routine.
The fruit of the Spirit is what God grows in you for the sake of the people around you.
In Matthew 7:16 Jesus says,
“You will recognize them by their fruit.”
The Basket: Love Comes First
Paul lists nine fruits, but notice something important:
“The fruit of the Spirit is love…”
Singular. One fruit. Many expressions.
Love is the basket.
All the rest of them are inside it.
Joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control—
these are not separate virtues we collect like Pokémon cards.
They are different ways love shows up.
If it’s not love, it’s not fruit.
If it doesn’t serve your neighbor and point to Jesus, it’s not of the Spirit.
Love isn’t one fruit among many.
Love is what everything else comes from.
Why We Get Love Backwards
Our culture has completely turned love upside down and inside out.
We think love is:
Something that completes us
Something that makes us happy
A response to what we enjoy, desire, or are attracted to
Something we give someone if they earn it
Which makes love:
Conditional
Emotional
Temporary
All about me
In other words, love is about my experience.
But biblically—what Jesus teaches us—love isn’t about personal fulfillment.
Love is about giving.
Love is not something you fall into.
Love is something God does through you.
It’s not “The fruit of your effort…”
It’s “The fruit of the Spirit…”
It’s God’s work in you and through you.
You can’t make spiritual fruit by trying harder.
It grows because you’re connected to the source. The Holy Spirit.
You don’t manufacture fruit.
You bear it.
This is pure Gospel logic:
God acts first and gives you life and salvation—pure grace.
You receive it by faith.
Others benefit when you love and serve them.
The Spirit does not grow fruit in you so you can admire yourself in the mirror.
The Spirit grows fruit so your neighbor can receive it.
And how do you give it to your neighbor?
Lutheran Theology of Vocation
This is a Lutheran theological insight that changes everything:
God does most of His work in the world through ordinary people doing ordinary things.
That’s the doctrine of vocation. Vocātiō. Calling.
One of the things Luther fought to correct in the church was the idea of vocation. God’s holy calling on a person was thought to only mean pastors, priests, monks, nuns—like the highest calling, the only calling God ever gave anyone was to be a church worker. Luther said, “no,” there is a priesthood of all believers. We all have a high and holy calling to do His work in the world.
This caught on so well after the Reformation that now people think of their vocation as their job—their career—the thing they get paid to do. They don’t even think of church workers, unless that happens to be their job.
But we completely reject the idea that our vocation is just our job. That’s part of it but your vocation is every role God has called you to serve Him in. They are all high and holy callings, vocations, the way God gets His work done through us.
1 Corinthians 7:17
“Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.”
So, God has called us to all these different vocations…
Parent
Child
Spouse
Friend
Yes, your job where you’re an Employee
Or an Employer
But also a Neighbor
A citizen
A member of your church.
This is where our faithfulness is to be lived out.
This is where our faith is either living faith or dead.
God answers all of our prayers through the people He has called to different vocations.
Luther said God provides daily bread through the vocation of the baker, and the farmer, and the government who make the land safe for farming, and the truck driver who delivers it. Think about how many people are involved in putting a slice of bread in your hand.
We pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” and God feeds the world through people who probably don’t feel very spiritual doing it.
But all of our vocations are sacred.
And vocation is where love gets practical.
No Calling Is Higher Than Another
This is so important.
There are no “more spiritual” vocations.
A pastor is not holier than a plumber
A missionary is not closer to God than a stay-at-home parent
A church worker is not doing more “kingdom work” than a mechanic, nurse, or teacher
Why?
Because love defines the calling, not the visibility.
God does not rank vocations.
He assigns neighbors.
And where there is a neighbor, there is a calling to love.
Our vocations are where we live out the gospel. It’s where we love and serve our neighbors.
Imagine if everyone in our church was just a pastor. What kind of sense would that make? A pastor is the guy who does word and sacrament ministry in a local church. Why would we need a hundred of them? How would that help carry the message of the gospel outside these walls? If we’re all spending all our time studying and writing sermons, who’s going to make the bread? Or teach in the schools? Or do the accounting, or the engineering, or crime scene cleanup—or whatever else you do.
And everything we learn in here, everything God gives us in here, we’re commanded to take that everywhere we go and give it away. It’s in the context of all the different things God has called us to do that we are to bless the world. By doing our work as unto the Lord? Yes. As showing up on time with a good attitude and a good work ethic? Of course. But also by loving and serving all the people our vocations give us access to.
So, how do we do that? Carry little Bibles around and throw them at people? Jesus juke every conversation by peppering it with Scripture quotes and reminding everyone how holier than thou we are?
No. But also not by refusing to ever talk about our faith and acting like foul-mouthed cynical people who don’t have any more hope than anyone else.
This is where the fruit of the Spirit comes into play. This is how we plant seeds in others. This is how we love and serve our neighbors and show them who Jesus is.
How the Fruit Shows Up in Vocation
Don’t go anywhere without that basket of fruit the Holy Spirit is growing in you—and no matter what you’re doing, give it away.
That’s what it’s for: real life, with real people, in your real callings.
Love
Love is the foundation for all of it. When God talks about love, He means self-giving for the good of another person—even when it costs you. Even when they don’t love you. Even when they disrespect you and make life hard. I think the most challenging thing Jesus ever said was “love your enemy.” I also know He meant it. When someone asked who their neighbor is, Jesus gave them the example of an enemy—the Good Samaritan. So, love is our most difficult Christian duty, and we don’t take it serious enough. Love is when we act for someone else’s good, not our own.
Joy
Joy doesn’t mean being cheerful all the time—but cheerful is a good thing. Some of us could try a lot harder to bring a little positive energy to the room.
Joy is a quiet confidence that God is at work—no matter where we are or what’s going on.
It’s more like steadiness with a good attitude. We don’t always get to choose the situations we find ourselves in—but we are in control of how we react to them.
Here’s something else that joy is—a really good example.
Joy is when you can tell someone is happy to see you.
God is always more willing to listen to our prayers than we are to pray—God is the ultimate “happy to see you”—He’s the essence of joy.
Joy also happens when we focus on others rather than ourselves. It’s a byproduct.
J is for Jesus. O is for others. And YYY is for you and you and you…
Peace
Peace is not the absence of conflict.
Peace is refusing to escalate.
Peace shows up when you don’t have to win.
As a fruit of the Spirit, we bring peace to every situation.
Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.”
At home, at work, at church… wherever we go. We are to bring the peace.
Patience
We live in a very impatient world. Everyone’s always in a hurry. Everyone’s so quick to be offended. Patience lets people finish what they’re saying without interrupting. Patience is slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to get angry.
1st Corinthians 13:4 says love is patient and love is kind… Which brings us to…
Kindness
Kindness is love in small, concrete actions.
It’s love in everyday moments.
It’s being polite. Please and thank you.
It’s grace and mercy.
It’s mopping the floor and doing the dishes so the people you love don’t have to.
There’s a line in The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse where the mole asked the boy, “What do you want to be when you grow up”
The boy thought about it for a minute and said, “I want to be kind.” That’s powerful. Not because we think young boys are likely to say such an outrageous thing but because we all wish we would have it when we were younger.
Goodness
Goodness is love that does what is right even when it’s costly.
It’s integrity when no one is watching. It’s character.
It’s what we mean when we say, “he’s a good guy.”
Faithfulness
Faithfulness is love that keeps its word.
It shows up as consistency, reliability, and presence.
It’s being reliable. A person of your word. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Gentleness
Gentleness is love that uses strength to protect, not dominate.
It’s power under control. Again, not the same thing as harmless. It’s choosing to be gentle.
Self-Control
Self-control is love that says “no” to itself for the sake of others.
It’s restraint in service of love. It’s how all the other fruit of the Spirit are actually employed.
Like I pointed out before, they are called the fruit of the Spirit, and not the fruits. That’s because they’re all the same fruit—love.
Jesus said in John 15:16
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit.”
God grows fruit in you
→ the fruit is for your neighbor
→ through your vocation
→ they’re all wrapped in love
You are not the source.
You are not the goal.
You are the delivery system.
God gives His love to the world through you.
That’s His whole plan. And He knew exactly what He was doing when He called you.
The Law
And that probably feels heavy because, If we’re honest, we too often use our vocations to serve ourselves. We want people to love us, be patient with us, be good to us… we want all the fruit but…
We withhold it from people way too much of the time.
We don’t love, we are not patient or kind.
We only give that precious fruit when it benefits us.
We know the assignment. We just refuse to do it.
We snap at the people closest to us and save our kindness for strangers.
We demand grace when we fail but offer judgment when others do.
We excuse our impatience as stress, our anger as honesty, our harshness as strength.
We know exactly where love is required—and we choose silence, distance, or control instead.
We are stingy with love.
The Gospel
But Jesus didn’t hold back—He gave it all away.
He showed us what love looks like.
We were enemies of God and He loved us anyway.
He made us friends, beloved children.
None of us deserve it.
He gave, knowing we can’t pay Him back.
He laid down His life not for Himself—but for us.
And now, forgiven, filled, and freed—
the Spirit grows fruit in you not to save you,
but because you are already saved.
What you have received from Jesus: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and the amazing self-control of a just God who had every right to judge us according to our sin—but instead forgave us because of His great love—what you have received from God… give that away to everyone in your life, everyone you meet.
You would think there was some kind of universal law that if someone is mean to you, if they disrespect you, if they offend you in some way with their opinions or whatever—you’d think there was a law that we have the right to offend them back with some stink on it.
But I want us to understand this… for all who believe on the name of Jesus…
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22–23
This week, in your various vocations as [parent/spouse/coworker], pick one person who’s hard to love — maybe a difficult customer or a teenager who rolls their eyes — and choose one fruit to intentionally give them: maybe patience by listening without interrupting, or kindness by doing some small act of service.
When conflict boils up at work or home, pause for just a second and pray: 'Lord, grow peace in me right now' — then bring peace to the situation by responding with gentleness instead of trying to win the argument.
AMEN