Discipleship 2025
I thought I knew how to be a great parent—until I actually had kids. It's like thinking you know how to fly a plane because you've been a passenger on one. Mike Tyson said, “Everyone has a plan until they’re punched in the face.” That’s pretty much how every area of life works.
You can’t learn what you think you already know. One of the biggest secrets to succeeding at anything is to remain teachable. I don’t care how much of an expert you think you are at something—you always have more to learn. And the way to learn is to stay humble and stay curious. We’re all going to learn the most when we’re open to learning from each other.
Today we’re talking about discipleship. I can’t think of an area of life where this is more true.
There’s two kinds of Christians: Know-it-alls who can’t be taught anything. They already know everything they need to know about theology, the Bible—they have their mind made up on every subject. They have no interest in what anyone else thinks, they just want to tell you what they think.
And then there’s the other kind. They actually are kind. They approach every subject with enough humility to listen to what someone else has to say before they start talking. They already know what they believe, so they understand the importance of asking questions and having some curiosity about what other people think.
Let me confess that way too often I tend to be the first guy—the know it all. And I’m pretty sure a lot of you tend to be that guy, too.
Following Jesus is a life of discipleship. We have to approach it with humility. It’s a lifelong journey of learning, growing, and being shaped into who He wants us to be. At the heart of discipleship is discipline.
We all struggle with discipleship because it demands more from us than we want to give. Spiritual disciplines are hard. Disciplining ourselves to daily prayer, daily Bible reading, weekly church gatherings—these are like bare minimum, entry level discipleship practices.
I have to say, though, I’m very encouraged by how many of us are doing the Bible reading plan together! One Story That Leads to Jesus, read the entire Bible in a year plan. Almost 100% of our small groups and discipleship groups are doing it. Very cool!
Those spiritual disciplines are basic self-care, like brushing your teeth, bathing, and washing your clothes. If you have any interest in being healthy, these are like eating good food and getting enough sleep. This is the lowest bar for what it means to be a disciple of Jesus.
But it’s also more than most people who say they’re Christian are willing to do. They don’t actually pray every day, they hardly ever read the Bible, they show up for church about as often as they change their A/C filters—and they live most of their life as if Jesus doesn’t exist. Or at least as if He doesn’t matter.
I’m hoping that by the end of this message, you will be inspired to truly affirm Jesus as Lord of every part of your life. To see every part of your life as an area where God is calling you to be disciplined in following the Him, and (AND) that every part of your life is an area where He is calling you to disciple others simply by how you live.
Back to the parenting thing. I was a kid once, I had parents, so I was pretty sure I knew how to be a dad. Man, as most of you know—if anything is on the job training, live without a net, it’s parenting. Those kids don’t come with an instruction manual—not that most men would have read it anyway.
I bought a bed for Angel at IKEA when he was nine or ten and he helped me put it together—you ever assembled something from IKEA? So, we’re having a great time putting this thing together like a giant Lego set. I think it was called the SMYGA. “Hand me the drill, Angel.” “Here, see if you can hammer these little pegs in the holes.” Great father/son bonding time. We’re almost finished, all we have to do is get this one bracket on for the drawer and…” I can’t get it to snap in place, it doesn’t seem to fit. “Angel, hand me those instructions.” He tears open the plastic bag the instructions came in.
You don’t have a good feeling about this, do you?
IKEA furniture goes together pretty easy with a minimal amount of tools. It doesn’t come back apart quite as easily. Ask me how I know. Yeah, that bracket needed to go on in like step three—so the whole thing had to come apart. I got your SMGY right here!
We got it. Finally. It’s still the bed he sleeps on at home.
It wasn’t IKEA’s fault that we ignored the instructions. But we sure made our lives harder with the attitude that we didn’t need no stinkin’ ‘structions.
That’s how a lot of us approach parenting. Our kid didn’t show up with an actual user manual but we’re followers of Jesus, right? He did give us plenty of instruction on how to raise our kids. Most of us don’t pay much attention until something doesn’t snap into place though.
The number one job of a parent is to disciple their kids. Discipline their kids. Make sure they’re learning, growing, and being shaped into who He wants them to be. This applies to grandparents, aunts and uncles, too. Discipline is really nothing more than noticing when they get off track and helping them get back on track. Getting on track always means the track that leads to Jesus—He’s the only direction we should ever be pointing them. He’s the way, the truth, and the life.
And it’s so important we understand that the main way we help them get back on track is by helping them love the track. They’re not going to follow the standard if they don’t love the standard. They’re not going to follow Jesus if they don’t love Jesus. They’re not going to love Jesus if they don’t think you really love Jesus.
Discipleship has to happen in the everyday, ordinary rhythms of life. It has to happen in good times—not just when things go bad and you’re ready to explode. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 says this, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."
All day everyday. Deliberate.
I was really frustrated when we had to disassemble that stupid bed in order to get that bracket on. I wanted to just rip the whole thing apart and throw it down the stairs. Dad Smash! You think Angel might have remembered that life lesson? When things don’t go easy, lose your temper and break stuff! That would not have been cool. I was okay—this time. I’m pretty sure I took a few deep breaths and said something like, “Well, this is why it’s a good idea to follow the instructions instead of just assuming we know how to do something.” Then we slowly and painfully started taking it apart and started over.
So many Christians think they know everything they need to know about Jesus—got it all figured out. You can’t tell them anything. They have their mind all made up on how it all fits together.
The Bible has all kinds of things to say about parenting and discipline. Like, discipline when they’re young so you won’t hate your kids when they get older. I know, it’s really cute when they’re defiant at three but it’s not going to be as cute when they’re thirteen. Most Americans have their parenting strategy upside down. We hardly discipline at all when the kids are little and then when they become teenagers we put the hammer down. It should be the other way around. The goal is to raise adults who love Jesus—so, they should be able to handle more freedom, and require less discipline from mom and dad—as they get older.
So that when they’re adults, they have self discipline. So they’re actively involved in discipleship for their own reasons. Following Jesus because they want to. They pray because they have their own faith, they read the Bible study and go to church because they want to—they love it because they love Jesus. They have their own calling to be a disciple of Jesus.
We can’t teach our kids to love God by force. They have to believe we love God. That’s how faith is passed to our children—that’s how we make disciples. Love God and love others. Worship God. Love people.
Followers of Jesus are disciples who make disciples. Followers of Jesus are constantly pointing the people in their life to also follow Jesus. Not by force or out of fear or obligation but because we really believe it’s the best way to go.
It’s also our mission. Our calling. It’s what Jesus told us to do.
Do we understand that? We’re responsible to make disciples. To disciple each other. Not just our kids. Also our spouse. And our parents. And our friends. And the people we go to church with. And people outside the church.
I’m not saying we have to walk around Jesus Juking each other all the time like a bunch of holier than thou plastic phoneys. Throwing Bible verses at each other like Evangelistic Ninjas. No. Yuck! The world has enough fake Christian idiots. I have a very low tolerance for that sort of thing.
But I’m also really tired of seeing people who call themselves Christians being so gross. So unlike the way Jesus told us to treat each other. We’re supposed to represent Him.
Everywhere we go, everything we say, matters. It either points people to Him or pushes them away.
Even online.
Most of us are on some of the social media platforms. Imagine that we sit down with Jesus and go to our Instagram page, Facebook posts, Twitter (or X) feed—whatever our drug of choice is—scroll through the things we posted, the ways we’ve responded to other people, the memes we thought were funny. Sit there with the Lord and show Him how we’re presenting ourselves, and Him, to the world.
Some of you are like, “That’s why I’m not on social media.”
Okay but what if everything you say in the real world to people was available the same way. Like, a transcript of all the things you’ve said to your wife, your husband, your kids, your friends, your coworkers—the people in other cars. Things you say out loud when you’re listening to talk radio or the news.
Like that movie “Defending Your Life” with Albert Brooks where he has to watch a highlight reel of his life in a room of angelic judges before he’s allowed in heaven.
So that would be painful, right? You’re like, “I do not want to see that!” Me neither. But, I mean, the people in our life have to deal with all our nonsense all the time.
Here’s the truth: We’re always representing Jesus to the people around us. We’re always making disciples, the only question is what kind of disciples are we making? Are we pointing them to Jesus or chasing them away? If someone becomes a Christian just like you, what kind of Christian are you making?
Scary thought, right?
Paul said,
“Follow me as I follow Christ. Imitate me as I imitate Jesus. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” 1st Corinthians 11:1
He also said,
“Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.” Philippians 3:17
You’d think I was a lunatic if I said something like that. “Hello, I’m Pastor Frank. Just act like me, that’ll get you in the ballpark of what it means to be like Jesus.” That sounds crazy! But whether I’m willing to say it or not, whether you’re willing to say it or not—that’s still what’s happening. It’s what people are hearing. Our life is a loud and clear message we send to everyone around us. “Hey everyone, following Jesus looks like this!” It’s what your kids hear, it’s what your friends see, it’s the message you’re proclaiming to your fellow church members, and people outside the church who know you.
“Look at me! This is what a disciple of Jesus is like.”
I’m much more comfortable with this verse:
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” Ephesians 5:1–2
Imitators of God. Sure, it’s an impossibly high standard but at least when we point to Him it takes the pressure off me. The problem is, everyone’s still watching us—how we treat each other, how we treat them. It doesn’t really let us off the hook.
I really want us to think about what we’re telling the people in our lives—what we’re telling them about who Jesus is.
I want us to take a very sober look at how we interact with people on social media as well as how we treat people in person. We have to use self discipline—it’s the root word of disciple—discipline. What do you think God expects from us? Jesus said the only thing He really wants us to do is love one another.
In John 13:34–35 Jesus said,
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
The hallmark of discipleship is love.
It’s not easy. Denying yourself? Taking up your cross daily? Following Jesus no matter the cost Even when the cost is holding back our opinions, keeping our anger to ourselves, showing people kindness, patience, grace—love. Even when the cost is speaking up and having that awkward conversation. This is the high cost of discipleship.
But these are the instructions. This is the only way life is going to actually work out. This is the only way that bracket is going to snap in place without us having to tear everything apart first. God told us how this life is supposed to work. Why do we insist on ignoring His instructions? Discipleship is all about learning to trust God more than we trust ourselves and doing what He says.
But we also have to disciple each other. We all need people in our life who can call us out, so we don’t just walk around oblivious to how we’re contradicting the Gospel with how we live.
We need people to help us stay on the straight and narrow because most of us go back and forth between arrogant pride and feeling defeated like we want to just give up.
In our pride [Disgust], we’re tempted to think we can earn God’s approval. Afterall, we’re pretty good—better than most, right? Nowhere near as bad as some people. We’re proud of how much we know, all the great things we do. Read our Bible, check. Go to church, check. Pray, check. Aren’t you proud of me God? Self-righteousness is ugly but we all have a little of it.
But then we eventually blow it in some way and realize what a miserable sinner we really are. Snap at someone, click on some nasty link, whatever it is. We get disgusted with ourselves and want to just give up. Try to hide from God like Adam and Eve. Run away from our church friends. Tell ourselves the lie that it’s because they’re so judgmental—when the truth is we just feel shame.
Spiritual pride, self loathing and disgust—both of these things happen because we don’t understand the Gospel and we don’t trust God’s grace—we try to earn His approval instead of trusting in His promise to save us and forgive us.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
This is true.
We all come up short, we can’t make ourselves into perfect disciples. No one is good enough. We fail to love as Jesus loved, to teach as He taught, to exemplify a perfect disciple as we go—we can’t live perfect Christian lives.
But no one said you had to. Discipleship begins and ends with God’s grace.
Yes, you’re a sinner but Jesus pursued you first when you were still a sinner, He still does.
You don’t have to do this on your own strength. You can’t do this on your own strength. The Holy Spirit promises to empower you. Remember what Philippians 2:13 says,
“For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”
He works in you to make you who He wants you to be. He’s making you into the best version of yourself. It’s the only version of you that will have peace and joy—the only version of you that will have hope. The version of you that’s a disciple of Jesus is the only you who will ever know life and salvation.
He’s leading you somewhere good, somewhere better. It’s why He saved you, but it’s not just for you—it’s so you can help lead other people to Him, too. To be a disciple who makes disciples. You’re not going to be perfect at it but Jesus paid the price for that.
You’re free to follow Him without fear of failure, knowing His grace covers all your shortcomings. But you have to keep following. And we have to constantly remember that we’re not following Jesus alone—and God puts certain people near us, and they’re following us as we follow Christ. Whether we like it or not. We have to be careful where we’re leading them.
So this requires a great deal of humility. Ask God to teach you how to pay attention to people—to listen more than you speak. We need to make sure our words, our actions, even our social media reflect Jesus.
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17
You are making disciples by how you follow Jesus. I’m just saying to be deliberate about it. Start with your family, friends, and coworkers. Discipleship happens in relationships. God is counting on you to help lead the people in your life. You are perfectly suited for what He wants you to do. Discipleship is not just the pastor’s job. Or the elders. It takes all of us.
Titus 2:3-5 paints a little picture of how discipleship was done by the women in the early church,
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
That’s discipleship.
So men's groups. Women's groups. Youth groups. Small groups. Places where people know you and can speak into your life—where you can speak into theirs. Where you can encourage each other. Show grace. Remind each other what following Jesus is all about. Ask questions and have real conversations. Pray for each other and check in now and then.
We have several discipleship groups that meet midweek. We’re always looking to start more—please let me know if you’re not connected yet and need to get plugged in. Send me an email at frank@frankhart.com
I don’t mean to make all this following Jesus stuff sound easy—it’s not. We all have a plan until we get punched in the face. That’s when we need to be surrounded by people we can trust to help us get back up.
Discipleship isn’t about how much you can do for Jesus; it’s about how much He has already done for you. He lived, died, and rose again so you could follow Him in freedom and joy. So you can learn to trust Him. Follow Him. And invite others to do the same—just by telling them what Jesus has done for you. Just by living the new life He’s given you. Show them what grace looks like. What joy looks like. What it looks like to live with hope. Make them look around that pile of their partially assembled life for an instruction manual. And when they ask you about it, give them yours. AMEN