"Discipleship"

Once upon a time I was part of a church that, as far as anyone could tell, was absolutely crushing it. I mean, if you were into metrics, this place would make you emotional. Parking lot was full, music was cool, architectural projection everywhere you looked, and new guests showed up every week. You walk in and it’s like, “Okay… God is showing off.”

People were showing up, filling out membership cards, getting baptized. It looked a lot like winning.

But you could attend for years and never really know anyone. You could sit in the same section, at the same service, next to the same people, and still be completely anonymous.

I remember being in a group one time and asking everyone to give a short testimony about their faith. Every person just told the story of how they came to that church. No mention of Jesus or repentance or the day God opened their heart and mind to believe. Just, “Well, the first time I walked in the door, I knew this was the church for me.” Again, not a bad thing. But it wasn’t what I asked.

The Gospel was proclaimed, the Law was preached. We had information, we had moral teaching about how to live our lives, and we had emotional worship experiences. All three lanes of what people usually call discipleship. But it was all in isolation. You could be part of all this without actually letting another person into your life.

Big front door, bigger back door. We certainly weren’t trying to do it wrong. I mean, we loved Jesus and wanted everyone to have what we have with Him. We just built a system that made it really easy to hear about being a disciple without actually being one.

Last week we talked about how easy it is to avoid anything we don’t like. Unsubscribe. If something annoys us, we cancel it. If someone frustrates us, we ghost them. If a conversation gets uncomfortable, we stop talking to that person. We’ve built a society where we can filter almost everything so it doesn’t upset our sensibilities. And when it works, it kind of feels like peace. It feels like we’re in control. Like we’ve cracked the code for how to avoid unnecessary stress. 

But we’re more stressed than ever. We avoid real relationships, so we avoid real discipleship.

Because we’ve also filtered out the things that actually help us grow. We try to build a life where nobody disagrees with us, nobody challenges us, no one can get close enough to even know us. And we wonder why we feel empty, disconnected—not growing in our faith, or our faithfulness—feel like we’re not making a difference in the world.

We’re all looking for the good life. What is the good life? Success? Money? Popularity? Pleasure? 

All those things are great for a while but like the writer of Ecclesiastes says, “It’s all meaningless—like chasing the wind.” He completely achieved all these things—success, pleasure, wealth, fame—but his conclusion is it’s all vanity, it’s all smoke blowing away in the wind. 

So, if it’s not those things, what is the good life? I know, we’re in church, so of course I’m going to say it’s the life we have in Christ… but what does that mean? What is the better life we have in Jesus? How would you answer that question? 

Here’s how Paul answers it in Colossians 3:12… 

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves,” (God chose you. That’s the Gospel. You didn’t choose Him. I think we forget that sometimes.) “you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (When Paul says “put on,” he’s not saying, “try harder to be this kind of person.” These aren’t things we drum up inside ourselves. These are gifts God gives us in Christ—His character lived out through us. We just put it on like clothes and wear it.) Verse 13, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” (Forgiveness isn’t just a nice idea—it’s central. And it’s tied directly to what Jesus has done for us. So, when we forgive, we’re not pretending nothing happened—we’re treating them the way God has already dealt with our sin, because He already dealt with our sin.) Verse 15, “And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” (That, “always be thankful” seems like an afterthought but it’s not, it’s central. The only cure for all the disillusionment in life and our tendency to feel discontent all the time is being thankful.) Verse 16, “Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives.” (The word of Christ isn’t just a bunch of nice platitudes—it lives among us. Shaping conversations, relationships, decisions—it rules us.) And verse 17, “Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Colossians 3:12-17

No compartments. No church life over here and the rest of life over there. This is a description of what our whole life is supposed to look like if we follow Jesus. Because we are chosen and loved by God, we’re supposed to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Put those things on like new clothes and wear them everywhere you go. They’re not just your church clothes. It’s your super suit! You put this on to go fight evil! Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. This is the company uniform for the church.

It doesn’t do any good to just wear it when we’re by ourselves in the privacy of our house. 

It’s what we’re supposed to wear around other people. Got to get dressed up! We don’t walk around in our naked attitudes… which is pretty much the opposite of that list. Under these new clothes Christ has given us we’re all kinda ugly: Hardhearted, cruel, prideful, harsh, impatient. That’s why we need to put on that uniform Christ gives us. Make ourselves presentable—able to do some good in the world. Because we are surrounded by people we’re going to have to bear with… and forgive… People that will do us wrong. The good life centers on loving people that are hard to love. Which is all in the context of following Jesus, listening to Him, and letting the word of Christ dwell richly among us as we teach and correct one another—teach and correct! Correct! One another! Oof. And that’s the good life.

Sounds awkward, doesn’t it? Messy.

Because none of it works from a distance. It all requires getting in close. It can’t be done in isolation, and it can’t be done anonymously.

Following Jesus is discipleship, and discipleship happens with other people.

When we talk about discipleship, we usually mean one of three things. Sometimes we think of it as primarily intellectual—where the goal is more Bible and theology. Where discipleship equals learning more. Other times we make it all about behavior—the focus is on acting more like a Christian, not sinning, being more virtuous. Where discipleship mostly equals being a better person. And a lot of time we treat it like an emotional goal, trying to drum up a bunch of enthusiasm and live in some kind of spiritual high. Where discipleship equals feeling more passionate or connected to God.

And none of those things are wrong, but none of them are the whole picture, either. When discipleship is just information, we can know a lot and still be unchanged. When it’s just behavior modification, we can act like we’re all put together on the outside and still be hollow on the inside. And when it’s just emotion, we can feel something one moment but have no real depth when life crashes and we’re not feeling it.

So, what is discipleship, then?

When we look at how Jesus made His disciples, we see something a lot more relational.
In Matthew chapter four Jesus sees Peter, and Andrew. They’d been fishing all night, and hadn’t caught anything, with no warning Jesus just walks up and interrupts a bad day at work. He says, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and followed him.” (No delay, no backup plan, no, “Let me check my calendar and think about it.”)

Jesus called His first disciples, and told them to follow Him, live with Him—not just believe ideas about Him and keep Him in their thoughts and prayers. They dropped their nets, left the family business and followed. He brings them in close, He invites them to learn from Him in the context of relationship. And three years later, after the resurrection, in Matthew 28, He sends them out to make their own disciples. According to Jesus, discipleship is following Him close enough to become like Him and learn to do what He does.

Fishing vs. Discipleship.

This is where we tend to get it wrong in the church. We like to measure success by how many people show up, how many people believe in Jesus, or get baptized. All good things. But that’s not discipleship. That’s fishing.

Jesus absolutely calls us to fish—told His disciples that they’d be fishers of men. But He didn't want them to stop there. He didn't fill up the boat with fish and just leave them there to rot. He called twelve men to walk with Him, to learn from Him, and to be shaped by Him over years. And there were other followers, and beyond that there were crowds. But His primary focus was on forming these men into disciples who would disciple others.

The goal isn’t just more people in the room—it’s more people who are like Jesus.

So, back to Colossians 3—Paul doesn’t say, “Enjoy hanging with the people you like.” He says, “Bear with one another.” He knows relationships won’t be easy. They’re going to require patience, forgiveness, humility—awkwardness.

Of course, we’d rather avoid all that. Some people make it so hard, they make you do all the heavy lifting in the conversation because all they got is one word responses. You say, “Hey, good to see you! How’s everything going?” and they’re like, “A’ight.” Or, “Goodhowareyou.” It can feel awkward. It only takes a few of these interactions and some of us vow to avoid small talk altogether. We wonder what’s so dang important about trying to connect with all the random weirdos. We only want to talk with people that are easy to connect with. I mean, I get it. I want relationships to be easy, too. I also want to be encouraged without ever being corrected. We all want a lot of things that aren’t good for us. But the good life that Christ is calling us into, the good life that Paul is describing requires getting close to people. Close enough to actually affect each other. In a good way! Even when it’s awkward.

We avoid real relationships, so we avoid real discipleship.

You’re not living as a disciple of Jesus if no one has access to your real life.
It took me a long time to understand I can’t follow Jesus without walking next to all the other people who are following Him.

And I have fought this kicking and screaming. I want to pretend I can stay in my lane and ignore everyone else. Mostly because… people! You know? People are the worst. Probably why God had to die for us.

So we can sit in church for years and not really be a disciple, never actually be discipled. I’ve done it. Just show up, listen, say “AMEN,” but keep my real life completely hidden from anyone there. What’s the use of knowing Scripture if we’re going to ignore it? Avoid any situations where it might change how we treat people? Where it could actually do some good? Put on that super suit and do what Jesus told us to do: love one another as I have loved you. That’s the point of all this. 

Make disciples. Be discipled.

If no one knows you well enough to challenge you, correct you, and walk with you, then you are not a disciple of Jesus—not the way He intends you to be. And if you won’t let yourself be in places where you can speak into other people’s lives—or if you refuse when you have the chance… If you avoid people because they make you uncomfortable or because they might have different opinions…  What are you doing? Put on your super suit and get in there!

Avoiding people doesn’t really protect your peace. It just prevents your growth.

Okay, so that’s a bunch of “Hey, we’re all doing everything wrong and now we feel guilty, thanks a lot.” I know, this is a punch to the gut for me, too. Even when I’m around people and trying my best, I’m not usually as kind or gentle as I know I should be. 

So this is a hard passage, and I want us to hear what God requires of us, but I’m not trying to beat everyone over the head with it. Remember it all comes from a good place. The foundation for everything this is saying is what Jesus has already done for us. Colossians 3 starts off reminding us that we’re chosen and loved by God. Everything flows from that—what He’s done for us and who we are in Him.

When we look at Jesus and His disciples, it’s obvious He didn’t choose them because they were ready. He chose them because He was ready to be committed to them. He stayed with them even when they were slow to understand, when they argued with each other, and when they failed Him. He stuck with them, He forgave them, and He patiently continued to shape them over time. He discipled them. 

And He’s discipling you.

Jesus has a lot more reasons to walk away from you than you'll ever have to walk away from someone else—but He’s not going to. He’s going to stay with you in your inconsistency, your hesitation—your sin. He forgives you over and over. He didn’t call you to be His disciple so you could try to earn His love. He called you because you already have it. 

I mean, you might have really been phoning it in, not exactly discipling up a storm, but take comfort in this: Jesus knew exactly who He was calling when He called you. He knows the real you. The ugly, secret you—the one you wish you could hide from everyone. But He also knows the beautiful new you that He’s making you into. He’s got big plans for you—your sins are gone—He forgives you because He wants to—so He can bring you into His family, His kingdom, His Father’s house. Not because of how awesome you were when He found you. No, He sees where this is going—He’s working in your life to make you glorious.

He knows the whole story.

The story that began the day He called you to follow Him. The day you dropped everything and started believing. The day you were no longer defined by how the world has hurt you, or how you hurt someone else, or how you failed, or how someone failed you, or how  life didn’t go the way you wanted. Jesus said drop all that and follow me. There’s going to be peace, and light, and life, and real hope. Your whole life wrapped up in His love.

Are you with me? This is the life Jesus has called you into.

Don’t you want other people to know it, too? That’s what drives me to do this. It’s what NewChurch is all about.

He’s not calling us to do anything He hasn’t already done for us.

But He is calling us.

I don’t want us to be like that once upon a time church where people showed up but didn’t usually get to know each other—where the only testimony they could come up with is why they liked the Sunday service so much.

God is calling us to be disciples who make disciples. Of Jesus. That’s always the call for people who follow Him. And discipleship requires getting close to people, it requires intentional space where it can actually happen. It has to take place in real relationships.

I’m doing my best to convince you to be in a discipleship group. Is it working?

At NewChurch, we have several groups where this kind of thing is already going on. We call them Scattered Groups. There’s one at my house and another at Peter and Tara’s house. There’s a couple men’s groups—I lead one called Straight to Awkward, and Troy leads another one. There’s a women’s group called Echoes of Grace led by Kim, and a young adult group led by Tristan and Von, and there’s also the awesome youth group also led by Peter and Tara. 

These are places where Colossians 3 is lived out. Places where we have to bear with one another, forgive one another, and speak truth into each other’s lives. They’re messy, like family. We need you to come and make them messier. We also need more. If you love Jesus and have a place to meet, talk to me. Let’s start something. We really need a family group for parents who have young children where they can do discipleship with the whole family. I’m praying that God will call someone here to do this.

Last week I challenged you to come an hour early and go to Sunday School. Troy’s like, “What did you do?” Ha. This week I really want to challenge everyone to join and commit to a mid week discipleship group. If you used to go but got out of the habit, come on back. We need you. And you need a place where you can stop being isolated. Someplace to be discipled. And to help disciple others.

Jesus didn’t just gather a crowd and call it success. He made disciples and then sent them to do the same thing. He called it His church. It’s still the plan.

It’s about making disciples. And discipleship isn’t just learning about the Bible, or how to behave, or getting all excited when we sing our favorite worship songs. It’s about following Jesus with people who won’t let us quit, and who won’t give up on us. 

Just like He said in Matthew 28:19,

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19–20

AMEN

Prayer

Father in heaven, Thank You that You have chosen us and loved us in Your Son. You have forgiven us, made us Your people, and given us a new identity in Christ. 

Clothe us now with what You have given—tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Teach us to bear with one another and to forgive as You have forgiven us. Let Your love bind us together, and let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.

Fill our lives with the message of Christ. Shape our conversations, our relationships, and our community so that we would teach, encourage, and walk with one another as disciples. Keep us from isolation and draw us into real, life-giving relationships where we are known, challenged, and cared for.

And in everything we do and say, make us faithful representatives of Your Son, giving thanks to You through Him. Amen.