"Overthinking Prayer?"
I went out with a group of people a few years ago. I was excited to catch up with some old friends but one person dominated the conversation. No matter what was said, this person had to say something to top it.. Someone would get halfway through what they were saying and they would interrupt, “Oh, that reminds me of something about me!” We were all too polite to stop them, so they just kept going.
If your idea of conversation is just talking about yourself, everything anyone says just pulls your string and reminds you of another story you want to tell, another point you want to make about what you think, what you believe—if you don’t ask followup questions or act like you’re interested in what other people are saying—please hear this: Talking is taking, listening is giving.
Good conversation is give and take—listening as much as speaking. It’s being open with another person, sharing yourself, and it’s being curious about what they have to say.
Today we’re talking about prayer. Talking to God.
Prayer is supposed to be a conversation, talking and listening. Sometimes it feels very one way, though. Like we’re just talking to the ceiling, wondering if anyone’s listening.
And sometimes it feels like a chore. An obligation. Like we’re just reading a list of things we’d like Him to do for us, people we want Him to heal, situations we’d like Him to change. As if the only purpose of prayer is to fill up God’s calendar with tasks and requests.
So, we’re going to look at what God has told us about prayer. What it is. What it’s for.
God desires a relationship with His people—with us, with you. He is always more willing to listen than we are to pray. We don’t have to wait until we need something from Him. How do you feel about people who only get in touch when they want a favor? We tend to think that’s kind of rude, right?
Prayer is about keeping in touch with God. Staying connected. It’s not about changing Him, it’s about changing us.
It’s a way to strengthen our faith—kind of like charging a cell phone—it doesn’t work if you just plug it in for two seconds. Prayer is like that. Probably why Paul says to “pray without ceasing,” just stay plugged in.
We struggle with prayer because we misunderstand it. It’s not just asking for stuff, like ordering food at the drive-through or a Holy Spirit activated vending machine.
Sometimes people don’t pray because they think they don’t know the right fancy words. As if God can only hear us if we speak in King James English, “Thou, O Lord, dost hearken unto my supplications.” No. God wants us to use our own words, our own vocabulary, and just talk to Him.
When you pray, try not to be weird about it. Don’t put on a strange voice like you’re talking to a puppy or a child. Don’t fill up all the silence with, ‘Father God we just, sweet Jesus, Father God, be with us, hedge of protection… What is a hedge of protection anyway?
Just pray like you talk. No weird voices, no magic words, and take it easy on the spiritual gardening requests.
I’ve talked about this before and then people come up to me and complain, “Thanks a lot Frank. Now everytime I pray, I’m very self-conscious!”
You’re welcome.
Sometimes we struggle with praying because we overthink it. Since God already knows everything, why pray at all? But prayer isn’t about informing God, it’s more about aligning our hearts and minds with His. I don’t spend time with the people I love just to let them know what they can do for me—I spend time with them to be close to them.
And way too often, we don’t pray because we say we don't have time. Life is busy. Prayer takes time, but so does everything that matters. Our relationship with God should matter to us. Plus, He promises it’s not going to be wasted time. Prayer refreshes us way more than doomscrolling or talk radio.
The disciples struggled with prayer, too. Jesus would ask them to pray with Him and they’d fall asleep after a few minutes. They asked Him to teach them how to pray and He taught them a simple little prayer we call “The Lord’s Prayer.” It was meant to be a daily prayer (give us this day, our daily bread), and a pattern for how and what to pray. We’ll come back to this in a little while.
First, let’s look at some things God told us about prayer.
We read this verse every week at prayer time: 1st John 5:14 says: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”
That’s quite a promise. We can be confident in approaching God! If we ask for anything that lines up with who He is and what He’s doing in the world and in our life, then He listens to us.
Jesus also said in John 16:23 that,
Whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.”
God always answers prayer. Sometimes we ask for things that would be bad for us, and the answer is “no.” No is an answer. If God says ‘no,’ we should be thankful—He’s protecting us from something we don’t see. Other times what we want is fine but the timing isn’t right so the answer is “not now.” Again, we should be thankful that God is looking out for us in His perfect timing. Even though we might feel like a little kid who’s upset because we want to have ice cream for dinner every night.
Prayer is having an honest conversation with God and learning to trust Him more and more.
Philippians 4:6 says,
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
Which is not God saying, “Listen you! You better not be anxious! You better stop worrying or I’ll pull this car over right now and give you something to worry about!” No, this is God, our loving Father, telling His nervous children they don’t have anything to worry about. It’s comfort. He’s not scolding us! You don’t have to be anxious, not about anything! Just come to God and tell Him what’s on your mind. You have so much to be thankful for! Think about those things. Ask God to take care of the rest.
Sometimes people say, “You better be careful what you pray for!” Like if you ask for patience, God will make sure a bunch of annoying things happen—that’ll teach you! But I don’t think so. I don’t think we have to be careful what we pray for at all.
Jesus said in Matthew 7,
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-11
Does that sound like God is just looking for any reason to use our words against us? No, ask, seek, knock—and trust that God is good.
Because of Jesus, we can walk right up to His throne at any time of day or night, we don’t need an appointment, we don’t have to crawl on our knees or avert our eyes. He doesn’t act like the Great and Powerful Oz.
We have bold access to the Father because of Jesus:
Hebrews 4:16 sums up what Jesus has done for us with His sacrifice on the cross, giving His blood to make us right with God, and it says access to the LORD is the primary benefit we receive:
"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
You have a need? Go to Him with absolute confidence. Tell Him what you want.
And when you’re done asking for it—keep the line open. Start with AMEN, you don’t have to end with it. Don’t hang up.
1st Thessalonians 5:16-18 says keep the prayer going,
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances."
Doesn’t mean we don’t do anything but pray all the time. It means we recognize the reality that God is actually with us. We don’t have to start up a new conversation every time we pray, just keep it going. Otherwise it’s kind of weird. Like if you come over to my house and I keep saying “hello” everytime I speak to you—like I’m surprised you’re still there. God is never the one to hang up on us.
But prayer isn’t just us talking to God—we need to also listen.
In 1st Samuel 3:10, the young Samuel hears God calling him and he says,
“Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.”
In Psalm 46:10 God says when we pray to,
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
When you pray, don’t do all the talking. Also listen. Let there be some empty space for God to fill your mind with thoughts and ideas and peace and calm. Don’t be like the person who never lets anyone get a word in. Ask questions. Wait for answers.
Jesus told us what to say when we pray. What God wants and expects from us. The Lord’s Prayer is more than just a little prayer to memorize and recite—it’s a powerful framework for understanding our relationship with God through prayer. Who He is, who we are, what He wants us to do—all wrapped up in the words He wants us to say to Him.
As Christians, followers of Jesus, we do need to pray every day. Make a formal time of disciplined prayer. Maybe it would help if I described what my daily prayer usually looks like. It’s all built around the Lord’s Prayer.
First thing when I wake up in the morning, I want to acknowledge God’s presence. I’m not ready to talk to anyone, not even God, but it’s rude not to say “good morning.” So, first thing when I get out of bed that’s what I say, “Good morning, Lord.”
It might seem weird at first but I’ve found it’s great for my faith. It starts my day focused on God’s presence. Have you noticed the Bible is full of verses that talk about worshiping God early in the morning? Might be a reason for that.
Then later, after I’ve washed my face, brushed my teeth, put on some clothes, as I’m getting ready to go to the gym—I have a time of formal prayer.
I start by just saying the Lord’s Prayer as I have it memorized. I say it slow, pausing between every line to make sure I realize what I’m praying. Just kind of let it sink in. Give a moment for God to bring something to mind about each section.
Then I spend a few minutes being thankful for whatever comes to mind. I look around my life and let God know how thankful I am for all of it. My family, the food in my pantry, the A/C, the cars in the driveway, for NewChurch and all my friends—just let my mind wander on all the things I’m grateful for. It’s an important spiritual practice. It’s the only cure for discontentment, apathy, and all the dark worries the devil wants to fill your heart with. A few minutes of thankfulness.
Then I go back and pray each part of the Lord’s Prayer in my own words. It’s amazing how inexhaustible this short prayer is—there’s no end to the things God has shown me just by praying and re-praying these words every day.
“Our Father Who art in heaven.” I could write an entire book on this line and still not say enough. God wants us to come to Him as if He is our Father. But what if our earthly father was a terrible person? What if they were abusive? Or absent? Or cruel? Or grumpy? If God wants us to think of Him as our father, that might come with a lot of weird baggage, right?
Imagine this: Imagine you were an orphan. You became friends with this rich kid who invited you to come stay at his house. You moved into his room with him, he shared everything with you, you ate with his family, and they made you feel at home. One day you ask your friend a question and he says, “Let’s go ask our father.” You’re like, “Our Father?”
So, Jesus taught us how to pray and the first thing He does is share His Father with us! When you pray, pray like this, “Our Father…” “Thank You, Father, for making me your son.”
“Hallowed be Thy Name.” Hallowed means holy. Holy means set apart, different, good, pure, not of this world. So, we are in God’s family now—He gave us His name. He made us holy. This is not only a reminder of who God is but a reminder of who we are—now. As we go about our day, we need to carry His name in a way that keeps it holy. “Lord, help me keep Your name holy today.”
“Thy Kingdom Come.” Jesus went around teaching about the kingdom of heaven, He brought the kingdom of heaven when He came the first time. He will bring the fullness of the kingdom of heaven when He comes again at the end of time. So, this line reminds us that we are first and foremost citizens of heaven, living as citizens of heaven, doing everything we can to build His kingdom as we wait for His return.
“Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” What does God want us to be doing? What is His will? Worship God. Love people. But what does that look like today? Every day? What does God want me to be doing today? How can I make everywhere I go look a little more like heaven? A little pocket of heaven? How can I make this conversation a little more like heaven? How can I make social media a little less like hell? Jesus didn’t save us so we wouldn’t do what God wants us to do. “Lord, help me be the person You’ve called me out of the world to be. Help me be Your activity in the world.”
“Give us this day our daily bread.” This is always a great reminder that God has been faithful up to now. He’s going to do the same thing today. This line is always another reminder to just be thankful. God will provide all our needs.
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Thank You, Lord, for forgiving my sin. We don’t have to worry that God is going to run out of forgiveness. Jesus expects us to pray this every day—He expects us to need this prayer every day. Which means He knows we’re going to sin every day. But He also knows people are going to disappoint us, hurt us, and need us to forgive them every day. He expects us to forgive them just as He forgave us. In fact, He warns that we will not be forgiven if we don’t—so, no messing around with this one. Lord forgive my sins, and help me to forgive people who wrong me.
“Lead us not into temptation.” Lord, lead me away from temptation. What am I tempted to do today? Actually think about that. God just forgave you. What did He forgive you for? Ask Him to lead you away from it. Maybe don’t walk straight into the same traps. Ask God for wisdom and self control to resist temptation today.
“And deliver us from evil.” I usually say this line more than once. It’s my favorite line. The world is full of evil—sickness, disease, violence, hatred, accidents that threaten my life and the life of everyone I love, demons and devils and darkness—all the bad stuff in the world—Lord, deliver us from all that evil. Deliver my friends. Deliver my family. Deliver our country. Deliver us from evil.
This is when I pray for the needs of others, people who have asked me to pray for them. All the situations that come to mind that need God’s help. Things I need, too—God wants us to ask for the desires of our heart. Sometimes I use a list, sometimes I just go with whatever comes to mind.
Then I end my formal prayer time by asking God what He wants me to focus on today—”what do You want me to do today, Lord?” And I listen. Wait. Let Him populate my mind with the tasks of the day. I ask Him if there’s anyone I should reach out to? And I wait. See who comes to mind.
I don’t end the prayer. There’s no AMEN. I keep the line open. As I go through the day, I’ll make a comment here or there, thank Him for something, complain about something else, make a joke. I try to live my life in the reality that God is with me.
When I go to bed, I thank God for the day and say good night. This isn’t the time for a bunch of conversation, it’s time to go to sleep. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep, I’ll ask Him if there’s someone I should be praying for.
So, that’s my typical daily prayer life. It’s not hard but it does take some discipline.
Here’s one of my favorite stories about prayer.
Kemper’s dad was a missionary. At his funeral a couple years ago, a pastor talked about going on a mission trip with him. They arrived in Africa and very early on the first morning, Kemper’s dad (who was also named Kemper) got up before sunrise and was sitting outside praying. The pastor went out and sat beside him. He waited for a while but eventually interrupted the prayer, “Well, good morning. What are we going to do today?”
Kemper said, ‘Today we’re going to pray.”
The pastor was shocked. 'We have a lot to do—how can we spend a whole day just praying!'
Kemper just said, ‘How do we know what we’re supposed to do if we don’t pray first?’"
They sat there for an hour or so. The sun came up. The pastor wasn’t used to just sitting in silent prayer, so he asked, “What are you praying? What are you saying to God?”
Kemper said, “Oh, I don’t say much. I mostly listen.”
A few minutes later the pastor asked, “And what does God say?”
Kemper’s dad looked at him and said, “Well, He mostly listens too.”
I think about that story almost every time I pray. It reminds me that it isn’t just about talking and trying to get God to do things for me. It’s about being with Him. That I don’t have to fill up all the prayer time going on and on, coming up with a bunch of words.
If we know what we want to say, then we should say it but if we don’t have the words, Romans 8:26 says that’s not a problem.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
This would be a perfectly valid prayer, “Lord… Ugh!”
That’s also where the Lord’s Prayer comes in handy—and other written prayers.
There’s no way to cover everything about prayer in one message. I talked about praying alone but praying with others is also important. I talked about using the Lord’s Prayer as a guide but we can also use any of the Psalms—any passage of Scripture, really—to lead us in prayer. Fasting, spiritual warfare, being persistent and not giving up on what we’re asking for.
But we don’t need to overcomplicate it. Pray every day. Start first thing in the morning and keep it going all day. It’s not just about asking God to do things for us, it’s about being with Him—it’s about Him transforming us.
More than anything, prayer reminds us that God is always with us. Even when we fail to pray, Jesus never stops praying for us. He goes to our Father on our behalf—always. AMEN