"Find Your Christmas Spot"

Christmas morning, 1971, five boys wake up very early and stare in awe at the pile of colorfully wrapped boxes completely covering the floor of a tiny house in Edinburg, Illinois. I was seven years old, and I had never seen anything like it. This was the first Christmas with my new step-dad, Bob Hart and his three sons. 

We had to wait ten or fifteen minutes—which seemed like an eternity—until mom got out of bed and sat on the couch with a cup of coffee beside her new husband of two months. We didn’t dare even touch the gifts before they gave the official go. Then it was complete chaos. Everyone crawling all over the mountain of boxes looking for tags with their name on it. Ripping open the paper like wild animals in a feeding frenzy. I’m pretty sure I got Johnny West and Chief Cherokee action figures—I still love action figures. My new dad wasn’t so sure about his new son playing with dolls, his boys would certainly never do such a sissy thing. But they liked my toys as much as I did, and my mom took great joy in pointing that out to Bob Hart for the rest of her life. Haha.

I owe my love of giant, stupid, over-the-top Christmas gift-giving to my mom. She had grown up poor and was pretty sure she struck gold when she married a coal miner who knew how to wake up in the morning and go to work—and could actually qualify for a credit card (especially at Sears!) It’s not unusual for people who grew up poor to go a little crazy at Christmas once they have some money. This is one of the few ways that my mom was not unusual. Ha.

So, tomorrow at the Hart house we will continue the insanity—and I’m really looking forward to it.

We have a little twist on the usual way Christmas gift opening happens. We don’t put names on any of the gifts—it’s just a big pile of unlabeled wrapped presents, and we take turns opening those random boxes one at a time. We open the gift, try to figure out who it’s for. It’s awesome but can make for some awkward moments, like the year Angel opened a brand new MacAir laptop computer and said, “I really hope this is mine.” Nope. Von’s. But it’s great because it keeps everyone involved and interested the whole time—the next gift could be something really special for you. It’s so much fun. We love it.

But also… It will take forever for everyone to finally sit down so we can get started. Then someone will have to go to the restroom, or get a cup of coffee, or grab some scissors. No one will just sit down and be still, I’m always like, “Hey! Find your Christmas Spot! MmKay!?” That’s what we say at our house when someone is being annoying and won’t sit down, “Find your Christmas spot!”

There’s so many ways people try to murder my soul on Christmas. Someone will keep crinkling the paper until I go insane, the dog will keep wining and have to go outside, a drink might get spilled, someone will eventually open a toy that makes an obnoxious noise so one by one everyone will think it’s so clever to pick it up and press the button or whatever—it never annoys the person making the noise. Everyone will keep doing this until I grab it and throw it in the street (or at least remove the batteries). 

It never fails. As much as I look forward to opening those presents, there’s going to be moments when all this emotional frustration will start bubbling up inside me and I’ll be tempted to explode like a toxic little baby monster all over everyone in the room. 

I’ve looked forward to this moment all year long, and then I’m always tempted to ruin it.

I won’t. It won’t happen. I’ll take a deep breath—maybe take a swig of eggnog—or something with a little more kick—and get back to happy Christmas time.

I know I’m not the only one here that struggles with their inner Grinch. Struggles with feeling grumpy when they don’t want to. Struggles with being selfish, greedy, easily irritated—who will admit it. Who are my people here this morning? I see that hand! What’s wrong with us? Haha.

Seriously though. I’m not a Grinch or a Scrooge—I’m probably more like Clark Griswold — I want it to be this perfect Christmas, but then I start to imagine everyone is a bunch of Uncle Eddies trying to ruin everything with their lack of boundaries, questionable common sense and complete lack of social awareness—emptying their crapper all over my perfect little Christmas. 

But I only feel that way when I’m tempted to make it all about me. When I give into the impulse to be selfish.

It’s the opposite of grace. The opposite of generosity, kindness, and treating people better than they deserve.

It’s all the opposite of Christmas because Christmas is all about grace. 

And here’s the thing, because we’re Christians (people who believe in Jesus and have dedicated our lives to following Him—I assume that’s why we’re all here today) we’re supposed to be people who pay attention to how He told us to treat each other. People who pay attention to the wisdom of Jesus instead of acting like fools.

When the Bible says “the fool says in His heart there is no God” it’s not really talking about atheists, it applies to them too but it’s really talking about people who say with their mouth they believe in God and then live like they don’t. 

As far as the Bible is concerned, a “fool” isn’t someone who is unintelligent or stupid. A fool is someone who ignores the wisdom of God. They ignore the way God has told us how to live. A fool does whatever they think is right in their own eyes for their own selfish reasons. They’re controlled by their emotions, their appetites, their lusts, their desires—and their petty annoyances and irritations. Even on Christmas.

So, on Christmas day, a fool gets irritated with their family because things don’t go the way they wanted them to go. You want to sleep a little longer but the kids wake you up to open the presents. You want to have a Norman Rockwell breakfast moment but there’s noise and chaos and people won’t come to the table and someone needs a glass of milk and someone else won’t eat their dang cinnamon roll or they’re acting all grumpy and mopey—and that’s just wrong because it’s Christmas and “why can’t we all just be happy and get along for one stupid day!”

Well, we can’t. Because we’re all a bunch of sinners and the extra pressures of holidays don’t usually bring out the best in us when we’re all crammed in the same room with massive expectations.

We all need to Taylor Swift this thing. “It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it's me.”

Don’t be elbowing the person beside you. If we want to start a Christmas revolution, make tomorrow a truly beautiful day, we need to draw a circle around our feet and pay attention to the foolish person inside it.

Like when we get a gift from someone and we act disappointed. Like when we keep track of other people’s gifts and start feeling sorry for ourselves that we didn’t get as much. A fool drinks too much, eats too much, says critical things, brings up sensitive subjects that cause arguments—or gets offended by something someone else says and lets everyone know exactly how we feel on all the subjects. A fool gets mad at other people being on their phone while we’re trying to have our perfect little Christmas—or gets mad when someone tells us to put our dang phone away and be with the people in the room for a change. A fool uses guilt and shame and harsh words to make sure everyone knows just exactly how disappointed we are with them—or sits there pouting hoping everyone feels sorry for us.

It’s all the opposite of what Christmas should be because Christmas is all about grace.

So, Christmas with the Hart boys back in the day—I remember some years we would get up, straight out of bed, and sit on the living room floor wearing just our underwear, waiting to open our presents. There was always new clothes under the tree, so we’d get dressed as we went. It’s a little awkward admitting this to you. It’s even more awkward than you know because we still do it. No, we don’t. 

I had actually forgotten about that until I was writing this message and chose this as the Scripture…

    Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV): "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

“Clothe yourselves.” I read that and started laughing.

Most of us wouldn’t want to show up to the Christmas party wearing just our undies because we want to present ourselves better than that, wear something that makes us look good—but we don’t seem to realize the way we treat people makes a much more lasting impression than our outfit.

What if we imagined that as we open those presents on Christmas, it gives us the opportunity to clothe ourselves with the things Jesus says He wants us to wear as His chosen people. These are all gifts He’s given us—compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience—imagine that when someone bugs you, it’s like Jesus handing you a present to open, unwrap, and put on. Someone does something irritating, so we clothe ourselves with compassion instead of irritation. Someone says something that rubs us the wrong way, and it’s like a bow that we have to untie and respond with kindness instead of a harsh or critical word. Someone gets a present that makes us burn a little with envy—we’re immediately reminded of how pathetic and selfish that is. Or maybe someone is really bugging you, trying to ruin the whole day for you—they’re on their phone, or nagging you to stay off your phone, or being obnoxious, or loud, or pouting, or whatever it is that makes you feel like they’re doing Christmas wrong and they should be a better person—like you! When you start to feel that way, imagine that Jesus just handed you a big ol’ box of humility—try it on, see how it feels. Let all those petty things that irritate you be a reminder not to be irritated. See them all as gifts with your name on them. Just get dressed as you go. No matter what happens, no matter what is said or done, or how chaotic things start to feel—open that life-sized gift-wrapped velvet robe of patience. Only a fool would be too proud to put that beautiful thing on. 

    Proverbs 19:11 says (NIV): "A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense."

See? Wisdom yields patience. Wisdom is the opposite of foolish. It’s the perfect glory of Christmas to overlook whatever might be offending you. To forgive others, even right there in the moment, as the Lord has forgiven you. This is what it means to love people. That’s why it says, “And over all these virtues put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

What if we all played a secret game tomorrow—just a game inside our own head—where we lose points for allowing anyone else to deplete our joy? And we gain points by trying to give it away? Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers…” That’s how He knows who His true children are—“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God.” 

A lot of the things I’ve mentioned today about the tensions between family members are especially true for people in step-parent/step-child situations. I am well aware of how tricky that dynamic can be. You know, the family in that first Christmas story knew all about it, too. I’m sure there were times when Joseph thought, “This is more than I signed up for.” Can you imagine being the stepfather of the perfect Son of God? How about growing up in His shadow as one of His step-brothers or step-sisters. I’m just saying, Jesus understands the special challenges of a blended family.

The thing we’re celebrating on Christmas is how God responded to all the things we say and do that irritate Him. And it’s a really long list. Everything I’ve mentioned so far for sure, but a whole bunch more, too. All the ways we sin against each other, all the ways we sin against God. All the ways we act like fools. And all the ways we’re so harsh and critical. All the ways we take everything for granted.

God sees it all. He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake, He knows if you’ve been bad or good. He has a list, He doesn’t need to check it twice. It’s pretty easy to remember—everyone’s on the naughty list. No one is righteous. Not even one. 

That’s what God saw when He looked at the world. But His response was very different from ours. He didn’t stay annoyed. He didn’t stay angry and frustrated.

This is the whole point of Christmas. 

God looked at the whole sinful wretched world that couldn’t find its Christmas spot and was ruining everything—and He decided to do something about it. He decided to love it.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever would believe in Him would not perish but would have eternal life.” John 3:16

It’s the Christmas story.

Luke 2:10-11: "But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ, the Lord.'"

You were not in your Christmas spot when God showed you mercy—far from it. You were being so annoying and obnoxious. Jesus came into the world to make peace between you and God. It’s a gift. Only a fool would refuse a gift from God. Only a fool would say in their heart that He doesn’t exist. Can you really look at all the wonders of creation, the complexity of the universe, the interconnectedness of reality and think, “it looks to me like everything just spontaneously came into being on its own.” Can you really be at peace with the idea that God doesn’t exist? 

I know I can’t. It’s as obvious to me that God created the gift of reality as it is that the presents didn’t wrap themselves and crawl under that tree—as obvious that the tree didn’t walk into the living room and decorate itself with ornaments and lights. None of this just happened on its own. 

So this is the message of Christmas: God created everything. We sinned and broke it. Jesus came to fix it. Jesus, the Son of God, was born as a helpless baby, lived the only life that didn’t annoy God His Father at all—He’s the only one who has ever been on the nice list—and after He taught His disciples what they needed to know about the Kingdom of God, He died on a cross to make peace between God and the rest of mankind. While on that cross He said these words, and they still apply today, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” He said that with you in mind, too. Then He died and was buried, and on the third day, rose again with this promise: All who believe that Christ rose from the dead will also rise from the dead—even though they die, they will live forever. 

No matter how easily irritable you are. No matter how irritating you are.

But it’s not just for the afterlife, it’s for this life, too.

You need to hear this: You are forgiven because of Jesus. You have peace with God now because of Jesus. Peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased—and He’s pleased with everyone who trusts in Jesus. Trust in Jesus and there will be peace and goodwill toward you!

God looked down from heaven and chose His Christmas spot. He didn’t choose it based on the most comfortable seat in the room, or the quietest room in the house. He didn’t choose it based on His comfort at all. His Christmas spot was a manger in a stable, where He began a life that led to the pain of the cross. He didn’t do all this for Himself, He did it for you. Ultimately, Jesus found His Christmas spot was to be with you. To be with you in your pain, in your sorrow—to be right beside you in all those difficult things you’re facing.

In the midst of all the beautiful chaos today and tomorrow, as we’re celebrating with our family and friends, the most important gift we can give each other is kindness, humility, gentleness, patience—this is the good news of Christmas: Great joy for all the people. Grace and peace. Merry Christmas! AMEN