Luke 17:1-10 "Thankless Job of Forgiveness"
Mother’s Day was the big idea of Anna Jarvis in 1908 to honor her mom, it was officially declared a holiday six years later by Woodrow Wilson in 1914. Since then it has really caught on. It’s the busiest day of the year for cell phone providers, 122 million people will call their moms today. It’s the busiest day of the year for restaurants—about 6 billion dollars will be spent going out today (per household! Inflation is crazy! No.) 113 million Mother’s Day Cards, three billion dollars will be spent on flowers alone. It’s also the third best-attended church service of the year.
That’s all good, and I hope those of us who still have our mothers or the mothers of our children around make the day special for them.
You know what most moms say they really want for Mother’s Day, though? Other than a macaroni necklace or personalized coupon book for on-demand backrubs? They want someone else to take over the housework for the day. Last year, over 40% of men didn’t buy their wives a gift on Mother’s Day because they were like, “She ain’t my mother.” Guys, if you didn’t get her something, at least do the dishes tonight—there won’t be a lot because you’ll probably go out to eat anyway.
I thought I could do my part today by applying all the ideas in today’s lesson to Mom—it still applies to all of us but let’s see how many practical applications we can squeeze in that relate to motherhood. Continuing in the Gospel of Luke, chapter seventeen…
VERSE 1: And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. Luke 17:1-2
This is still the same setting—Jesus is eating with a bunch of people the religious leaders think look like sinners. He’s going to wrap up the teaching by giving some specific instructions to the disciples—the Twelve and all the others who are believing what He’s saying.
“Temptations to sin are sure to come…”
Can I get an AMEN? There’s no escaping the temptation to sin. We are all going to be tempted. You know, being tempted is not a sin. Jesus was tempted in every way that we are tempted and He didn’t give in to it. Like, if your child eats the special chocolate cake, smears icing on the couch, leaves the plate upside-down on the carpet, and lies to you about it with evidence still on their cheeks—being tempted to murder them is not a sin. This is the part where God tells you to be angry and do not sin. Okay, maybe not “murder” but the temptation to scream and throw a fit is sure to come but don’t give in to it. Woe to the one through whom temptations come—and I’m not talking about the kid.
The child has sinned. They did not honor their mother. They lied. They mutilated a perfectly good cake. But you’re not going to make it better by making it worse. If you lose your mind in how you correct them, you become the tempter—you’re going to tempt them to sin in a bunch of ways. You’ll teach them to lose their mind when people do things they don’t like. Your anger’s going to be contagious and they’ll be as angry with you as you are with them. Harsh discipline is tempting and training your kids to sin.
Jesus says something really heavy, “It would be better to have a millstone hung around your neck and be cast into the sea than for you to cause one of these little ones to sin.”
That’s a particularly heavy thing for parents to hear because our kids are always watching us. Always imitating us. Aways learning what it means to follow Jesus through us.
A common millstone was a set of round stones used to crush grain into flour. The upper stone could easily be tied around a person’s neck before throwing them into the ocean—a pretty gruesome image—they wouldn’t be able to swim with a fifty-pound weight attached to them.
The idea is that even though everyone is going to be tempted to sin, if we go around being the tempter, the one causing temptation—especially by throwing our anger around, like the religious leaders were doing while Jesus was telling this story—it would have been better for them to be murdered them before they had the chance to tempt a little one to sin.
Better in what way? Well, remember the story of Lazarus and the rich man from last week?
And who are the little ones? It’s definitely a reference to children. Certainly our own children. But Jesus is also talking about anyone who’s young in their faith, like all those new believers He was eating with who looked like sinners to the Pharisees.
This is all about discipleship. Helping people to grow in their faith instead of tempting them to reject everything about Jesus because we’re such bad examples. Certainly true for our own children but also true for all the people God puts in our lives to share His love and forgiveness with. Discipleship is discipline. If we don’t discipline our children it means we’ve given up on them—the same is true for all our Christian friends.
VERSE 3: Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4
Pay attention to who? Yourselves. Watch yourself. When someone makes you angry, check yourself. Mom, take a deep breath and slowly exhale, maybe bite your tongue before you unleash the fury of a mother’s wrath on your little monsters.
Like when the kid talks back? Is disrespectful? Leaves shoes on the stairs? Doesn’t tell the truth? Doesn’t listen, interrupts when you're talking to them? Does something you told them not to do? Doesn’t do something you told them to do? When they’re ungrateful little snots. When they fight with their siblings. When they’re selfish little brats. When they do stupid things and put themselves in danger. When they sin.
Pay attention to yourself. Watch yourself. Be careful how you react.
By the way—aren’t those exactly the same kind of things we all do to God all the time?
People are going to sin, and when they do, what are we supposed to do about it? This seems to be a difficult idea for modern Christians. Jesus says when someone sins, we’re not supposed to ignore it. He says we’re supposed to “rebuke” them.
Rebuke. That sounds like a harsh word but there’s all kinds of Scriptures where we’re told to correct people gently, in a way that they can hear us—with the goal of restoring them.
So, without getting all hopped up with emotion and selfish anger—just let them know what they did isn’t good. Isn’t acceptable. “Come on, that’s not cool.” Be gentle.
Including our kids. The way we react to our kid’s sin is probably the same way they’re going to react to our correction. If we throw a fit, they’ll throw a fit. Paul says in Galatians 6:1,
“Let you who are spiritual restore in a spirit of gentleness—keep watch on yourself that you’re not tempted to sin, too.”
But it doesn’t only apply to parenting. Let’s say you’re hanging with a friend from church and they start talking smack about someone. You might be tempted to let it go. Let them keep on slamming up a storm. Jesus says we should rebuke them, in a friendly way, remind them of who they are. “Okay, I get that you’re mad but let’s not say nasty things about Jim.” We’re supposed to help each other, remind each other to do the right thing. We don’t have to be all heavy and uncool about it. It can be playful. Gentle. Subtle. The only thing it can’t be is neglected. We have to call each other out in a friendly way.
If they get mad, whatever. Let it go for now. Show grace. Don’t break the relationship by acting like a holier-than-everyone freak. Say it once, be kind and drop it.
And if they repent, forgive. It’s over.
“Repent.” That’s another one of those heavy words like “rebuke.” Except not really.
Repent means to “know after.” Wisdom is to know before, repent is to know after. Wisdom is to do the right thing, repent is to realize you did the wrong thing.
“Repent” means to change your mind. To have second thoughts. Regrets. It includes everything from “I’m sorry” to “Oh man, I didn’t mean it like that” to “Oops, my bad.”
And then you forgive them. You drop it. Whether you think they mean it or not. Whether you’re still mad or not. You don’t hold it over them anymore and you give them a chance to make it right.
Remember the prodigal son? Wasted the family fortune, dishonored his father, and then came home begging for mercy. His father forgave him, gave him the family ring, threw a party. What do you think his father would do if the son woke up the next day with a hangover, pawned the family ring and ran off to the city again? What would the father do when the son came running back the second time?
He would have forgiven him and gave him another ring. And again and again. Might have to start buying those rings in bulk.
God not only forgives us every time we come back—every time we change our mind, turn around, every time we repent. He wants to. It’s His idea.
And He wants us to do the same for each other. That’s the hard part.
Someone pokes you in the eye. They laugh at the funny face you make. But when you let them know it hurt and it’s not cool—they say, “Oh, I’m sorry. My bad.” So you forgive them.
Then they do it again ten minutes later. Jesus says to speak up, give them a chance to repent, and if they’re like, “Ah man. You’re right. I did it again. Sorry about that.” Then you have to forgive them again! Even if they keep doing it. He’s ridiculous about it—even if they do it seven times a day!
See, we don’t like that. We wouldn’t think they were truly repentant. Not really sorry. We think they have to show how sorry they are by stopping with all the poking in the eyes! Right?
Jesus says, “Nah, just keep forgiving them. You might want to put on some safety goggles but go ahead and forgive them.” There might be times when you need to keep your distance but you can still forgive them.
There’s three kinds of people, and all of them sin. The wise, the foolish, and the wicked. The wise can be corrected by conversation and words. The foolish can only be corrected by consequences. The wicked refuse to be corrected and have to be removed before they do more damage.
But for perspective, keep this in mind:
Without Christ, we are all wicked. Without Christ, we would all be separated from God.
And with Christ, we’re always somewhere between wise and foolish.
So, we have to constantly be talking to each other, correcting each other, doing it with patience and kindness—and always ready to forgive when someone is corrected.
The disciples thought that sounded like too much. That it sounds impossible.
VERSE 5: The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. Luke 17:5-6
The leaders of the disciples spoke up and said what everyone was thinking, “We’re going to need a lot more faith if you expect us to be able to forgive like that.”
Jesus gives them a serious answer but He’s being playful. He’s like, “It really doesn’t take a lot of faith. It’s not about how much faith YOU have, it’s about who your faith is in.” A mustard seed is tiny—remember how seeds are planted? The parable of the seeds? The Gospel is scattered all over like seeds, some of the seeds take root and grow into faith. This is what Jesus is talking about. The smallest seed grows into enough faith to do the impossible. If you believe in Jesus at all, you can do this.
He uses a silly image of a mulberry tree being told to pull up its roots and plant itself in the ocean. Trees don’t walk, they don’t swim, and they don’t grow in the ocean. It’s impossible. Just like gently rebuking someone who sins, just like forgiving them over and over. But it’s only impossible because you don’t want to do it—Jesus isn’t asking them to forgive because they want to. He is commanding them to forgive for His reasons—because He wants them to. They’ll have to force themselves to do it out of obedience.
Then He illustrates what that obedience is going to look like.
VERSE 7: “Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’?
Luke 17:7-8
He’s talking about a “Doulos,” a trusted slave who’s treated like a member of the family. A doulos is a slave that had been set free but chose to stay out of loyalty to the master of the house. They want to be there—it’s the title given to Christians when we’re called “servants” of the Lord. So, in this story, the servant’s job is to work in the field all day and then come home and serve dinner.
It wouldn’t make sense for him to come in from work, wearing dirty clothes, and immediately sit down to eat. That’d be like if you went to Olive Garden today after church and there was a line out of the door because the staff were all sitting down having a nice meal. No, they’ll eat after the lunch rush is over—their job is to serve the customers first.
Let’s see… Mom application… Something about everyone needs to wash their hands before they come to table? Mom’s probably the last one to eat most of the time, too. Right? Especially when the kids are younger.
A lot of things about being a mom fall under the category of a thankless job. And it’s not that the rest of us don’t appreciate everything you do. Other than Mother’s Day, it’s usually a pretty thankless job but that’s the job. The way Jesus ends this story is perfect for Mother’s Day…
VERSE 9: Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’ ” Luke 17:9-10
The loved and trusted servant doesn’t expect to be thanked for simply doing his job. Jesus isn’t saying to be ungrateful and take advantage of people, we have plenty of Bible verses telling us to be thankful and show gratitude. But He’s still talking about this seemingly impossible standard of gently rebuking our brothers and sisters when they sin, and forgiving them when they repent and take back what they said or did that hurt us.
He’s basically saying, “Just do it and don’t make a big deal out of it.” You didn’t do anything above and beyond the call of duty when you forgive someone for doing something awful to you. He wants us to remember that we’ve also been forgiven—we don’t forgive people from a position of being worthy, we are all unworthy servants. We’re not really qualified to forgive sins because we’re worthy—only God can forgive sins. We’re only able to do it when we’re speaking with His authority, in His name. When we’re sharing the forgiveness He’s already given to us.
So when we forgive, our attitude should be, “We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.”
Mom application? Mom, you need to always be running the house from a posture of forgiveness. Forgiving the kids for all the annoying messes, disobedience, frustrations, and challenges. Forgiving your husband for the times they don’t step up around the house, don’t back you in parenting, make life even more frustrating by acting like he’s a child himself. Forgive your own mother and father for the wounds they left on you. Forgive, and at the same time restore gently, rebuke with kindness and mercy. You probably hear all that and feel like the disciples when they said, “I’m going need more faith.”
Well, how about this… This should boost your faith a little:
There’s no condemnation for any of your failures or shortcomings.
Romans 8:1 says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Mothers, if you’re a Christian, if you’ve heard the Gospel and believed that Jesus lived, died, and rose from the dead for you—then God does not condemn you for anything.
So, even if you don’t feel like it, you have to forgive yourself too. God has forgiven you because of Jesus.
You are not condemned when your house is a mess.
You are not condemned when you act like you love one child more than another.
You are not condemned by your miscarriages.
You are not condemned if you don’t want to have more kids.
You are not condemned when you compare yourself to all those perfect moms on social media.
You are not condemned when you don’t want to cook.
You are not condemned when you wonder why your kids aren’t “normal.”
You are not condemned because you are divorced.
You are not condemned when you want to be left alone, away from the kids, for a little while—or a long while.
You are not condemned by how you feel about your body, which may not be what it once was.
You are not condemned by your repeated failures as a mother.
You are not condemned by your rebellious children.
You are not condemned by your fears and worries.
You are not condemned for not throwing your kid the birthday party of the year.
You are not condemned when all the meals didn’t come from Whole Foods.
You are not condemned when you dream of a vacation from the kids.
You are not condemned for not living up to the standards of your Mother or Mother-in-law.
You are not condemned when your kids scream like monkeys in public places and people stare.
You are not condemned, even though you may feel like you are, if you are in Christ, you are not condemned.
This is the truth for all who trust in Jesus.
You are not condemned, because if you are in Christ, your identity—your righteousness—is in Christ alone.
This is the best Mother’s Day gift anyone can hope for. The never-ending love and affection and acceptance of being perfectly loved by your Father in Heaven.
And for the rest of us, who are not mothers…
Husbands, Sons, Daughters, other Mothers, Fathers, Mother-in-Laws, Father-in-Laws, friends, fellow churchgoers, and advice-givers — let’s not do anything to make mom feel condemned or tempt her to doubt how much she is loved, honored, and cherished. At least not today. AMEN.