How to Be a Human Being - Lies and Truth
When my son Angel was a little boy he figured out one day that the easiest way to get out of something was just to lie. It’d be bedtime, “Angel, did you brush your teeth?”
“Yeah.”
I’d check the bathroom sink and his toothbrush. Dry as dust. “You sure? Let me see your teeth.” He’d smile and there’d be like yellow film and bits of food. “How about you brush them again.”
“Do you have any homework?”
“No.”
“Hmm. You never seem to have any homework anymore. Let’s check with your teacher.”
“Well, I might have a little bit.”
So we had a little conversation about lying. I said, “Telling the truth is a big deal. If I can’t trust what you tell me, then I can’t trust you for anything. That’s not going to be good for you.”
He’d be like, “Sorry sir. It won’t happen again.”
See there’s no quicker way to get out of something you don’t want to do, or get out of a conversation you don’t want to have than to just lie. It’s like magic. Makes it all go away.
Except it doesn’t.
So the next time I caught him in a lie, I had a plan.
I don’t remember what the lie was, it could have been anything, but whatever it was, he was caught again. I didn’t make a big deal out of it. I just told him that I was going to start lying to him sometimes. Not all the time. Just enough so he wouldn’t know if I was telling the truth or not. I told him I was going to lie to him sometimes for two weeks.
He didn’t really see why that would matter. Haha. He was about to find out.
The next night after dinner I said, “Hey Angel, come with me to Walgreens and after we get mom’s meds I’ll stop at Dairy Queen and we can get some ice cream.” So we went to Walgreens and on the way home passed by Dairy Queen. Angel was like, “Hey dad, there’s Dairy Queen, don’t forget about the ice cream.”
I said, “I didn’t forget. We’re not getting any. I lied.”
He was not amused.
I let a few days go by and then Kim and I started talking about going to Disney Land. At dinner we made these big plans, where we were going to stay, all the stuff we’d do. We kept this going for a few days. Even Von was in on it, we went big.
A couple days later: “Hey Angel, you know that trip to Disney Land?”
“Yeah.”
“We’re not going.”
“What do you mean? You and mom said we were going!”
“Yeah. We lied.”
There were tears this time. He was mad.
Later that night, he came up to me and said, “I don’t want you to lie to me anymore. I don’t like it. I won’t lie anymore, either.”
And he’s been pretty honest ever since. I mean, everyone lies, but I’ve been able to trust him since our little psychological experiment in behavior modification.
Today we’re talking about one of the more practical commandments when it comes to how to be a human being. It’s at the heart of every relationship because all relationships are built on trust, if we can’t be trusted, we won’t have any relationships worth having. Society is built on trust, too.
The eighth commandment is this “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
There’s a lot wrapped up in that one. Bearing false witness means to “deal falsely, be false, trick, and cheat.” Luther says it means we should fear and love God so much that we do not deceive, betray, slander, or damage the reputation of another person. Instead, we should defend people, speak well of people, and put the best construction on everything and everyone.
You know, pretty much the opposite of how everyone treats each other right now.
But what about people we don’t like? Enemies. People who have done us wrong or that are dangerous? This commandment is especially talking about them. Like when we have to give testimony in court and accuse someone of something—we better tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God. A half truth is a whole lie. If we get our way in court by any kind of deception, even if we’re ultimately in the right, we have not honored God and justice has not been done.
This commandment has rightly been understood down the ages as a prohibition against lying. Deception. God does not lie. Jesus said the devil is the father of lies. Sin came into the world because of lies that were believed and acted upon.
But bearing false witness against our neighbor isn’t only about telling lies, it’s also about our words and thoughts about the people in our lives—our brothers and sisters, our friends and family, and even people in the spotlight of media and politics and such. The way we speak about people at work and school, the way we talk about presidents and president hopefuls and vice president hopefuls. We can talk about ideas without slandering people. Bearing false witness is also about gossip and not betraying people’s trust. It’s about keeping secrets and speaking the truth in love.
Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be a job reference for someone you wouldn’t really want to recommend, but you also don’t want to destroy their life? You don’t want to lie but you can’t really tell the truth either. I saw a reference letter a guy wrote in a situation like this, he said (and you have to listen very carefully to hear what he’s really saying), “I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine. In my opinion you will be fortunate to get this person to work for you. I recommend him with no qualifications whatsoever. No person would be better for the job. I urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment. All in all, and without reservation, I cannot say enough good things about him, nor can I recommend him too highly.”
There are definitely times when the unvarnished, blunt truth is not the appropriate response. Rahab lied to protect the spies that Joshua had sent to Jericho. The Hebrew midwives lied to protect newborn babies. Bearing false witness against someone clearly doesn’t have anything to do with using the truth to hurt people, and it doesn’t forbid us from protecting people, either. If the Nazis are looking for the Jews you have hidden in your attic, you are not wrong to keep them safe.
You’re also not wrong to be kind when someone asks your opinion on something. “Does this outfit make me look fat” should always be answered with “I think you look marvelous.” You don’t need to attach yourself and your opinion to their negative view of themselves. They already think they look fat, that’s probably why they asked. It’s never a bad idea to be kind.
I don’t know why people don’t know these things anymore. It’s such a mess out there.
One big reason why our world is in the mess that it’s in is because we don’t trust anyone anymore. We don’t trust the media, we don’t trust the experts, we don’t trust our elected officials.
St Augustine lived during the fall of Rome. It was a horrible time. Politics were highly polarized, people talked at each other, attacked with lies and deception, everyone tried to manipulate the people with their spin on what was happening in the world. It was pretty much like now. Augustine said, “When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful.” If you don’t believe in truth, all that’s left is doubt.
Jesus stood before a Roman leader and told him that He came into the world to testify to the truth. That everyone who loves truth recognizes that what He says is true. Pilate was like, “What is truth?” Liars don’t believe in truth.
You can’t convince a liar that you’re telling the truth. Liars don’t trust people. They don’t tell the truth so they figure you’re not telling the truth either. This is why I always say to believe what people tell you. You don’t have to bet the farm on it but you can take people at their word. If you don’t, you make yourself look like a liar. Jesus said “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Give other people the same courtesy.
But we’ve been lied to for so long. False advertisements, fake news, spin doctors, everyone’s on someone’s payroll. We don’t know who to trust. Seems like everyone’s going to betray us, flim-flam us, rip us off, let us down, smile in our face and stab us in the back.
It’s always been this way. Ever since the fall. That’s exactly why God says He wants His people to be the kind of people who don’t bear false witness. The kind of people who live in the truth and don’t try to tear each other down with lies and false accusations and gossip and breaking our promises.
Ephesians 4:25 says
“So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.”
Proverbs 19:5 says,
“A false witness will not go unpunished, nor will a liar escape.”
The truth will always come to light eventually.
“Your sins will find you out” Numbers 32:23
But if someone tells you something in confidence, you need to keep that confidence. Don’t be telling people’s secrets.
“A gossip goes around telling secrets,
but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” Proverbs 11:13
Gossip is just so tempting. If we know a secret, we just burn with the desire to tell someone. To be the one who knows the inside scoop. But things can’t be unsaid. Once you betray someone you can’t un-betray them.
James says
“Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters.”
If you criticize and judge each other, then it’s like you’re criticizing and judging God’s — because He told you not to gossip and slander and you’re acting like you get to be the judge of whether it applies to you or not. [James 4:11] In fact, Jesus says you should just keep your mouth shut when it comes to talking about other people,
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you.” [Luke 6:37]
Now that verse is probably the most misquoted verse in the Bible. It doesn’t mean we don’t notice when people sin and make mistakes and do bad things that are contrary to God’s commandments. He didn’t say we had to be blind or stupid. He just doesn’t want us to be the kind of petty holier than thou jerks that go around talking smack about people. Even when we bear true witness against our neighbor, we need to do it in love. For their good and not their harm. We don’t rejoice and celebrate when a sinner is mutilated by their sin.
In fact, Matthew 18 tells us exactly what we’re supposed to do when we notice a brother or sister is sinning. We go to them alone. Tell them what we think we see. Ask them about it. Give them a chance to explain or make it right. If they refuse to listen to us, then we try again but this time bring a couple friends with us. If they still won’t make it right, admit they’re doing something wrong—then, after being patient and kind and speaking truth in love and grace, then we bring them before the church. Make it public. All in the hope of making things better. Restoring the relationship. Steering them away from sin and rebellion.
Ha. That all sounds like science fiction. Does anybody really take God’s Word serious enough to do what He says? Does anyone really give a flip about whether they’re in sin or not? Sometimes I wonder. All I know is I do. I want to take God’s Word seriously. Which includes all these commandments. These “shalls.” He’s God and we’re not. He knows how this life is supposed to work and we barely have a clue.
Like all the commandments, there’s the negative side that we shouldn’t do and the positive side that we should. We shouldn’t lie but we should tell the truth.
To not bear false witness against our neighbor also means we should defend them, speak well of them, and put the best construction on everything as much as possible. Protect them from false accusations—even if the person is an enemy.
And it means to say positive things about people. Someone said “withholding a compliment is theft.” Encourage people when they do something good.
And as impossible as it seems right now, in this world of politics by destruction and character assassination, as the people of God we should put the best construction on everything. Everybody’s got faults and weaknesses and undesirable traits—we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. We need to defend each other and excuse each other. Forgive each other.
Love covers a multitude of sins. [1 Peter 4:8]
Love believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. [1 Corinthians 13:7]
What else do you think these verses mean?
Let’s not do to each other what the religious leaders did to Jesus. They wanted Him dead but they couldn’t find any actual witnesses to accuse Him of anything. So they made a click bait accusation. Two men came forward and said, “This crazy man said he was able to destroy the Temple of God and rebuild it in three days. See?! He’s a terrorist. He’s threatening to blow up the Temple. He hates God. He hates Jews! He’s a witch! Burn Him!” It was a trial right out of Monty Python.
Have you noticed that they broke each and every one of the commandments in putting Jesus to death? In murdering Him on the cross? Breaking these absolute holy standards of what God has told us a human life is supposed to be always leads to death. There’s nowhere else for it to go. The good news for you is that even though you’ve broken all these commandments, Jesus suffered the weight of all these sins on Himself. In this case, He was literally falsely accused so that you could be absolved of all the times you have lied, gossiped, slandered, and spoken poorly of someone. That weight has been taken off of you. You just need to receive His pardon by grace through faith. You don’t deserve it. It’s a gift. Just believe and be thankful.
Go to your heavenly Father, every day, and tell the truth. Confess the truth, just say it like it is, “I’ve been a liar. I’ve said harmful things about people. I don’t want to be this way anymore. I want to live in the truth.”
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. This is what God has said, it’s what He’s said about you. The truth shall set you free. God said it, and God cannot lie.
AMEN