How to Be a Human Being - Honoring the Dishonorable

Okay, it’s storytime. A friend of mine, we’ll call him Kelske, because that’s his name and I asked if I could tell this rather embarrassing story today—he was driving home one Saturday night. He had his two sons with him, Jacob who is eighteen, and Jaxon who is eleven. A car pulled out of a side street in front of him and he had to slow down a little, so he flashed his lights. You know, you can’t let these things go unpunished, right? The guy pumped his brakes, made him slow down more. ‘Cause that’s what you do when someone honks at you—you torture them a little. Kelske flashed his lights again. Then he stops in the middle of the road, pulls sideways, blocks all the lanes and starts to get out of the car. Kelske rolls his window down and starts yelling at him. You know, “What’s your problem? You pulled out in front of me. Idiot!” Probably some choice words that don’t belong in a sermon illustration. 

This was a couple weeks ago, right in the middle of all the Black Lives Matter George Floyd protest riots and all that tension. The guy in the other car was a black man and he was filled with road rage, too. At first glance it’s hard to tell if Kelske is white or hispanic or middle eastern—but he’s definitely not black. They’re yelling at each other, foaming at the mouth. The guy keeps getting closer. Kelske opens his door, “Yeah, come on buddy, let’s do this. I’m that guy. Let’s be on the news tonight!”

And they probably would have been, too. But Jacob spoke up. “Dad, you’re being a complete ———— stupid jerk (something like that’s what he said). How about if we all just go home.” And they did.

Jacob says to his dad on the way home, “Why you acting like that in front of Jaxon. He copies everything you do.”

He was fuming. He didn’t speak to his dad the rest of the evening.

The next morning was Sunday. Church day. It was time to get up and go and Kelske was still in bed. Jacob went in and said, “what’s going on, dad? It’s time to go to church.”

Kelske rolls over, away from him, and says, “I’m not going. I don’t feel like it.” He was throwing a little pity party and feeling a lot of shame.

He said the next thing he knew, his son had physically grabbed him and picked him up out of the bed and dropped him on the floor. Jacob was on the highschool wrestling team, he’s a strong kid, there wasn’t anything Kelske could do about it, he said he felt like a ragdoll. “You’re the spiritual leader of this house, you need to be a man and take your family to church. Jaxon’s watching you. We’re all watching you. Let’s go.”

I noticed he was a little mopey after church. He was tearing down the projector screen, and I asked what was going on. That’s when he told me the story. Said he had apologized to Jacob for acting like a fool. I asked him if he told Jacob how proud he was of him. He didn’t answer me. I said, “You got to let him know. You need to let Jaxon know, too. You need to say it out loud to them, what you told me—that you don’t know how it happened but he turned out to be a better man than you.”

He was like, “Yeah. I know how it happened though. God has been very kind. It’s all Jesus.”

Now I don’t know what you think of that story but I think it’s a pretty wonderful picture of what it looks like to honor your father. To love and honor your father even when they’re not exactly being honorable. I also think it’s a powerful testimony to a father that raised his son to be the kind of man who does the right thing, even when it’s not easy. 

We’re in this message series called “How To Be A Human Being.” There seems to be a real shortage of people who remember the basics, so I thought we should do a little tutorial. It’s on the Ten Commandments—God’s absolute universal moral standards for what it’s supposed to look like to be a human made in His image.

The opening blessing “I am the LORD your God who saved you from slavery” and the first three commandments are what are commonly known as the first table of the law. That first stone tablet. They can be summarized as “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” Or as we say around here, “Worship God.” 

Today we start looking at the second table—the “Love people” section. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

All the commandments are outwardly focused. They are all ways that we relate to others. The first table is how we relate to God, who God is, what He’s done for us, we are to have no other gods, not use His name in vain, and remember to set a day of rest aside to worship Him and keep it holy. Now we’re coming to the parts that deal with how we treat each other.

The first table, the parts that specifically deal with how we relate to God, are unique to the Ten Commandments. No other religion had ever seen anything like them. The second table is universal across nearly every culture and religion. Nothing new there. No one really thinks lying, stealing, murder and being a jerk is a good idea.

The fourth commandment is this, Exodus 20:12

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”

In Ephesians 6:2, St Paul underlines this commandment by saying,

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise).”

What does it mean to honor our parents? Luther said it means that we should fear and love God by not despising our parents—not provoking them to anger, to serve them, obey them, and hold them in love and esteem. But this is not just limited to our biological parents. The rest of Scripture makes it perfectly clear that this commandment includes anyone who is in authority over us. All the people who God places over us at home, in government, at school, and in the church. 

Parents. Proverbs 30:17 says

“The eye that mocks his father and despises to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.”

Yeah! My mom used to say “wipe that look off your face or I’ll wipe it off for you.” God takes it up a notch, “Roll your eyes at your parents again and I’ll send a bird to pluck them out.” Colossians 3:20 says,

“Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

But what about once you grow up and move out of the house? Proverbs 23:22 says,

“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.”

So there’s no time stamp on this thing.

Government leaders. Romans 13:1-2

“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished.”

Your Boss. 1 Peter 2:18 is talking about masters and slaves but it clearly should be applied to our modern system of work management

“You who are slaves must submit to your masters with all respect. Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel.”

Ouch. I don’t like that at all. It means you can tell them to take this job and shove it, but that’s not the kind of attitude God says He wants to bless.

Church Leaders. Hebrews 13:17 says

“Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.”

Yeah. That.

God puts all these authorities over us, so we’re supposed to honor them as though we are honoring Him. There is ultimately no power or authority on earth except for the power and authority that are given by God.

Which means, like it says in Acts 5:29,

“We should always obey God rather than men.”

So how do we honor those authorities when they’re not being honorable?

And first of all, that’s a given. No one is going to be perfectly honorable. No one is perfectly honorable except Jesus. So we have to find ways to honor them anyway.

We’re not going to want to. That’s kinda the point. All authority issues are ultimately daddy issues and mommy issues—which are ultimately God issues. Pride issues. False god issues.

We are rebellious people. We don't want to be told what to do. 

Why do you think we get so worked up over this stupid mask thing? Because we don’t want to be told what to do. Why do people react with so much emotion to police officers? Because they don’t want to be told what to do. Defund the police! We don’t want any authorities over us. Take down the office of the president! We don’t need no stinking leaders! Anarchy! Mob rules! It’s all daddy issues. Authority issues. Rebellious hearts contrary to God issues.

This is why Malachi says one of the big things that the coming of the ministry of the Messiah would do would be to restore the hearts of children to their fathers and the hearts of fathers to their children. He was talking about John the Baptist, who would be preparing the way for the Lord Jesus. He also says if the hearts of fathers and children are not restored then God will come and strike the land with total destruction. That’s kinda the opposite of the blessing He promised if we would honor our father and our mother. 

So if the authorities tell us to do something, and it’s not a sin, then we better have a really good reason not to do it. You don’t like being told to wear a mask? Wear it anyway and then vote the turkeys out of power. You get pulled over for going 67 in a 65, and the cop has an attitude problem—then graciously take the speeding ticket and then fight it in court so you don’t have to pay it. 

When Jesus walked the earth, the Jews were under Roman occupation. They were second class citizens. They actually weren’t considered citizens at all. You could be going about your day and a Roman soldier could stop you and command you to carry his gear up to one mile—that was the law. It was completely unfair. Demeaning. Demoralizing. No one ever wanted to be stopped, have their day interrupted, and be told to carry some stupid Roman bully’s stuff.

What did Jesus say the way to handle that situation was? How were they supposed to honor these completely dishonorable, lazy, good for nothing Roman jerks?

Matthew 5:41, Jesus said,

“If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.”

That would not have been a popular opinion. No one would have wanted to hear it.

Maybe if a governor tells us to wear a mask for a month, maybe we should wear two masks for two months. 

Look, I’m not trying to be a mask advocate. Let’s be clear: I don’t care whether you wear a mask or not. I understand that the United States is not Rome, we don’t have an emperor and there are many layers of government, checks and balances. A principled theological argument can probably be made for not wearing a mask in certain situations. Whatever. But if your reason is just because you don’t want to—you don’t want to be inconvenienced. You don’t want to be told what to do. That’s just pride. I’m not really talking about masks—I just think it’s just a good illustration of something we don’t want to do. 

It’s my job to challenge you to think like a follower of Jesus. I do care about that. Whether or not you listen to Jesus. Whether or not you humble yourselves before the face of Almighty God. Whether you act like a Christian instead of walking around with a rebellious, hyper-individualistic chip on your shoulder. Remember what it says about pastors, “Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.”

We are not to be prideful, arrogant people who walk around trying to prove we’re right about everything. We’re supposed to be a servant of everyone. Supposed to put other people before ourselves. That’s what love means.

On the other hand, if someone in authority tells you to do something that God says is wrong. You better not do it. You better be willing to go to jail or die before you disobey the LORD.

Which brings us back to that Kelske story I started with. Sometimes honoring your parents and honoring the authorities means being like Jacob and wrestling with them—pushing back. Sometimes you have to remind them what honor looks like. You know, that could have gone bad for Jacob. I’ve known fathers who were too proud to be corrected by their sons. Fathers who were too proud to apologize when they were wrong. Too stubborn to admit when they did something wrong. Even if there were consequences, I still think Jacob would have been right, both in pointing his dad away from fighting with a stranger over a stupid road rage incident, and by not so gently reminding him to lead his family to worship God on Sunday morning. And this same kind of thing can be applied to government, school, church—sometimes honoring means you have to push back.

My story is a little like that, too. I was the first one to come to faith in our family—but I was 14. To honor my father and my mother meant I had to help them question their apathy toward Jesus and gently lead them to repentance and belief. Sometimes love and honor requires a little respectful tension.

It’s certainly what Jesus had to do for all of us. He perfectly honored His heavenly Father, which you would expect. But He perfectly honored His mother and step-father, too. They were just sinful people like you and me. In Luke 2:51 it says that He obeyed his earthly parents—and that’s right after the twelve year old Jesus went missing for two days and they finally found him worshiping God at the Temple. Honoring required a little push back. He perfectly honored Pilate and the Roman oppressors but it certainly didn’t mean there was no conflict. He also perfectly honored the religious leaders—even when He corrected them and questioned them, and flipped over the tables of the money changers. God didn’t say it would be easy to show proper honor, he just said that’s the kind of people we’re supposed to be. The kind of people we shall be.

The good news is that because Jesus perfectly honored His father and mother, He made you a member of God’s family even though you have failed to honor yours. Because He perfectly submitted to authority, all the way to the cross—you have been forgiven for all your insubordination and rebelliousness and pride—and have been promised to rise from the grave just like He did.

But how do we know? How can we be sure that even though we have not honored our father and mother, even though every time we turn around we prove that we have all kinds of daddy issues and problems with authority—how can we know that God will still love us and accept us and welcome us into His family?

Because this is how Jesus taught us to pray. He said when you pray, pray like this: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.” You are a beloved child of God. Because Jesus perfectly honored His heavenly father, your days will be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. That’s a promise.

Prayer: Thank You for bringing us into You family, making us Your adopted children. Help us to honor You by honoring our earthly father and mother along with all the other people You put in our lives over us. Help us to grow in our ability to trust in the grace and mercy that Jesus has offered us until the day when You receive us into that glorious heavenly mansion You have prepared for us to live in for all time. AMEN